Let’s discuss ‘That time of the month’ with #Period Pride

I had my first period at the age of 12. And I had no clue about it whatsoever. I did ask questions about what ‘Whisper’ and ‘Stayfree’ were, when advertised on television, but got no direct answer. The only thing that got to my ears was, ‘You’ll learn when you will come of age!’ And I used to wonder, will my brains automatically get the information from my surroundings, or will there be some information centre that will fill be up with the answers to my endless questions?

Anyway, my mother discovered and helped me when I had my period. I was a quiet child then. I wasn’t very talkative and usually preferred to stay mum in front of guests. When periods hit me, I was kind of neutral. Luckily, I had painless periods. It was only the discomfort that comes along that bothered me. And yes, not worshipping was another thing that I didn’t like about it.

Certain people lectured me about how I should behave in front of people and I shouldn’t talk about it in public, that I shouldn’t touch the vessel and pickles, and behave mature, coz now I am a grown up and not a child anymore. That was what actually scared me!

I now wonder, why? There was nothing to be scared of, nothing to be guilty of and nothing to be 

ashamed of! Having periods is the most natural things to happen, just like having a grey hair. It is the sign of indicating fertility amongst women, and imagine if it doesn’t occur timely, then it can be a really serious problem! Something as natural as this is treated with utmost shame! It’s a taboo to talk about it in front of people, especially the males.

Again, why? It’s all pointless! And it only leaves the boys with half-baked knowledge, which is even worse.

I remember having a few people in our school making us aware about the do’s and don’ts along with other information about ‘those days’!

Our school uniform was a white kurta with the red checked jacket. I dreaded going to school during those days, anxious of having a stain and often pestered my friends to check if I have stained my kurta. Of course, I reciprocated the same during their times! But as much as I hated that time of the month, I equally enjoyed the liberty that came along with it!

Making an excuse for not feeling well during the P.T. classes, not indulging in any sports or laborious activity, and lying down at home to take that extra nap, relishing the liberty of not studying and having a perfectly sound explanation for the same were some of the perks that came along. Thank God!

Now when I think about it, it only makes me smile. And with time, I’m kind of used to it. I’ve befriended with them. And it usually doesn’t bother me much now.

But what bothers me sometimes is when I see my relatives, wherein a family of 5, there are 4 females (three daughters and one mother), and when the mother is going through her menstrual cycle, it’s the elder daughter, of a mere age of 12, has to make tea, cook food, and do all the kitchen and household stuff! And by chance, if the dates of the mother and the daughter clashed, then the man of the house would bring some food from outside or eat at his friend's place and get packed for his family as well!

I really feel bad for them, for being stuck with all the old traditions. I feel sad for the little girls where in their years of growing up, they should be playing and fighting and falling and making friends, they are being caught in the shackles of such customs. And this is despite the fact that the family is an educated one!

Not touching the pickle, standing outside the temple and pray (and let the world learn that the woman is having her periods), not touching holy plants, not entering the kitchen, sleeping alone on a separate bed sheet and having meals in separate utensils, are some of the customs that are followed in the families.

While I didn’t have too many restrictions, few of the above were still prevalent in the house. But now, I’ve completely shunned them away! Yes, you heard me!

And I don’t feel a hunch that I’m doing something wrong. If my conscious is clear, I don’t think it’s a problem anymore then!

Lots of efforts are being made to spread the awareness, pertaining to hygiene during those days, use of various things available and their side-effects, other products that can be used alongside and so on. 

Naari is one such organization making constant efforts to share the word and remove the taboo from the society, instilling confidence in the girls and making them believe there is nothing to be ashamed of, of themselves or their bodies, and tutoring the underprivileged girls about the hygiene and nature-friendly products.

When I read about #PeriodPride on Write Tribe, I knew I had to write on this subject and spread awareness in a way.

“Chemicals like Dioxin which is found in disposable sanitary napkins is a known carcinogen and has been linked to ovarian cancer, abnormal growth in reproductive organs, impaired thyroid and immune dysfunction. Dioxin has even been added by WHO in their list of Dirty Dozen – List of 12 harmful chemicals.”

While spreading the word about the side-effects of sanitary pads, a few alternatives like cotton pads, tampons, and menstrual cups can be used without worrying about their fallouts.

Gone are the days, when women stayed within the four walls of their houses. Today, they are ahead in quite a number of fields and are bringing laurels to their families. If they are ahead in everything, then why should they be left behind in such an important thing as this?! 

Don’t you think?

Come on girls, share the post, talk about it and treat it as normal as you can!

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Linking this post with Naari and Period Pride via Write Tribe.

Cheers

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Come, let's #PledgeforParity, this Women's Day- #MondayMusings

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With International Women’s Day coming up, the social media is flooded with zillion articles and posters to celebrate the womanhood in the world. Isn’t that a wonderful thing to do? And so I'd like to share my two cents. For I am no different. And it will be more than a pleasure to share the thoughts on my own blog space.

While scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed, I came across #PledgeforParity movement on Naba’s post and that intrigued me right away. I wanted to pledge and be a part of the force where millions of women are joining hands for the equality in the world. And this shout out is more important than you think.

All of us, women, try our level best to share, do, treat, take things equally. And expect equal rights, don’t we? And our families too support us to an extent in this effort. But is it always possible to do that every single time? Sometimes, Yes, but most of the times, No!

Yes, times are changing but there is a lot that still has to be taken care of.

I have a few examples to share and justify my notion.

For instance, let’s say everyone is having dinner at the table or let’s say you have guests over to your place and you don’t have a hired staff to cook things for you, in that situation, watching the woman of the house- making, preparing or serving hot meal looks like big deal? Hell, No!

The man of the house sits with the guests devouring in the tea and snacks prepared by his lovely wife and he gets to make jokes, discuss politics and share things around, completely oblivious to the help her wife needs.

Or let’s say there are friends over for a get-together, will not the wife insist the husband sit comfortably and she will bring water, snacks, glasses, drinks, or whatever. Isn’t that a common sight to witness? And truth be told, we too, don’t see anything wrong in that. Isn’t that the way we’ve been seeing things since our childhood? Yes, exceptions are always there and I am glad there are a few, but not many. Why we don’t feel anything wrong with this arrangement is because that’s how we see things around us.

Let’s say, you’re invited to a family dinner to your relatives house. Doesn’t it become your (women’s) duty, to go and ask if the host needs help? Or is there anything where she can help in serving things? Or if she forgets to offer help, the woman’s family will sub-consciously ask her to help out the host and she will be more than willing to do it.

And if for a change she doesn’t come forward to help, people automatically make assumptions and judge her on her etiquettes and manners.

Isn’t that true?

I don't have a problem doing that chore, but sometimes what I feel is, why is it always a woman’s duty to offer help? And not men to offer for help. And why don’t we label or comment on their etiquettes and manners when they don’t move their asses to help out?

Why don’t we see the kind of arrangement where the lady of the house is chit chatting and the men are serving or offering for help, to say the least? Why are bhabhi JI's only supposed to get up from their places and enter into the kitchen?

I know it will take a really long time to change this system and can be possible with men’s help if only they are willing to. Otherwise, nothing can be done if it doesn’t come from within.

Let’s take another instance.

So a couple of friends hang out together on weekends and most of them are married. And friends with whom you’re hanging out were first your husband’s friends but eventually with time, you too have bonded with them and their wives.

Now, you’re not in town for a few days (may be you’re visiting your parents), in that case, does the husband stops going out with friends on weekends or late nights? Or if he goes, is he back before it turns dark? Of course not!

On the contrary, if the husband is out of town for work or something, of course, the wife wouldn't go out in the night or hang out with his friends? She may go if the couple is staying all by themselves, but she will never go if she is staying with the husband’s family.

It will look awkward, wouldn’t it? Even the husband may not like it in the first place. He too will suggest visiting them some other weekend and chucking them this time. And we don’t see anything wrong in it, do we? Because that’s just how it is. I don’t have anything against it but it’s just an observation that pesters me sometimes.

Again, things are changing, men are changing as well and it will take a whole lot of years to bring complete equality in the world.

According to International Women’s Day website:

The World Economic Forum predicted in 2014 that it would take until 2095 to achieve global gender parity. Then one year later in 2015, they estimated that a slowdown in the already glacial pace of progress meant the gender gap wouldn't close entirely until 2133.

Until 2133!!! That’s a lot of time!

Such things are so deep rooted and ingrained in our heads, that we don’t even feel the need to fight this issue. And that is why I pledge to challenge conscious and unconscious bias.

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I read Richa’s post as well, and what moved me was:

We too wish to live in a world where there is no need for feminism.

And I so agree with this. Why is feminism even a word? Had there been equality all over the world, no such term would have ever existed. Isn’t that a valid food for thought?

Leaving your work the moment men enter the house, keeping things at proper places, organizing their wardrobes, are normal things to do. But why don’t men do such things if they are that normal?

I have pledged for parity. 

On this Women’s Day, are you going to pledge?

I’m sure you too must be having numerous instances in this regard. Why not share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below? Would love to hear them out.

P.S: The examples mentioned above are purely observations and nothing personal. 

Cheers

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Unleash your Capabilities!

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Marriage is an eye opener for many, I believe. And I say this because it kind of opened my eyes too. There was a time when I thought life comes to a full stop post marriage, that there’s not much to rejoice and live your life to the full after marriage, that if there was anything at all it was before the D-day (not that I haven’t enjoyed myself before marriage, but just a few pre –conceived notions I had) and I am so glad to be wrong (for a change) about this.

I, for one, started my life after my marriage to be honest. All my wishes, all my desires, my aspirations started taking shape after I got married. Not that being married was one.

And with time I realized what all things I was capable enough to do.

I am driving from quite a long time, but the real challenge came up when I started taking the classes. You just can’t guess the area where the institute is located and you barely have any idea about the kind of traffic that exists there. Every city has an old city and a new one and the place where I teach is located in the older one. And so, people there aren’t any younger either (or their mentality for that matter)! 

When I have to struggle to reach my destination, I come across lots of vehicles parked incorrectly (by men), which block the traffic so often, over speeding youngsters on bike (boys) who disturb the entire flow of driving, the rickshaws, the pedestrians, and mind you, the place where I go is full of men. You will barely see any woman in sight, and the kind of looks that I get from all those starry eyes! That’s a woman who is driving. She doesn’t know how to park the car. She doesn’t know how to drive well. How is she handling that car? And what not?! 

Well, I am not bragging here about myself or anything, but I drive way better than many men on the road. I obey all the rules, I follow the traffic lights, I don’t drive rash, I don’t just shatter away like crazy! That tiny space where I park my car every single day, most men refuse to admit if that place is capable of accommodating my car! Wearing formals and carrying a bag doesn’t mean I can’t do stuff that men are supposedly do.

We’re surrounded by it. Everywhere. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

70% of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

Yes. These are real statistics. There was a wonderful video I came across last week and it got viral too on social media that asked the audience to guess the hobby of the girl based on her looks. I’m sure you must have seen it but if not, you can check it here.

Did you see how things function around us?

When we see a woman carrying a child, we assume she must be home, she has no life, she’s probably not happy, her husband is not supportive and what not! When we see an old woman with an old man who’re probably dating or discovering each other, well it’s obviously budhaape mein ash kar rhe hain (having fun in the old age) that comes to the mind. When we see girls wearing too much of makeup, or wearing too short clothes, or too funky hair, or too dark lipstick, or too many rings and bangles and bracelet and hair colour! What about seeing too many boys with one single girl? What about being friends with only boy? Sounds odd? And then fashion! My goodness! Hair extensions.. No way! What about piercing? Under the lips, below the eye brow, and how about a tattoo? Right beneath your shoulder where you can flaunt it easily. Of course, she’s a hippie! She may not have a character as well, don’t you think? And that where it needs to stop. It’s not our bloody business to know what and why she wears, who she dates, who she sleeps with, is she having a child, is there some medical problem, and what not?! Oh and the one’s with the nannies, well, that’s their choice totally. They’re probably not as efficient as you and need some help or even if she is efficient enough, she does not like doing it by herself and so has hired a maid, big deal! It’s her life and she is the one who gets to decide what should be done and what not! One really needs to learn to mind their own business.

There was a time when I used to cook regularly and the looks that I used to get from kins around, Oh you cook? What a boring thing to do and what a boring life you have! Only cooking! Who does that these days? Very homely she is. We can’t be like this. Thank God we have a staff! And now when I don’t and have someone who does that, it’s like, What a spoilt brat? Doesn’t even cooks! It’s so shameful! I mean where should one go? One can never satisfy the society. Best is to ignore all of it and do what you feel is right, what your conscience allows! Simple.

Nobody will notice how well are you doing at your work, how hard are you trying to make your day a productive one, all one cares and notices of, she gets to stay out all day, she has a car all by herself for as much as she wants, she doesn’t has to cook, nobody says anything to her, she wears jeans and all the clothes of her choice and the list is endless.

I drive. I drink (O I don’t drink and drive of course!), I wear red lipstick, I don’t have kids, I’ll plan them when I’ll feel it’s the right time to do and not when you will ask me to, I love to wear sarees, I love to take care of my family, I love to dance, crazy dance, on loud music, I love to party, I have friends, guy friends as well and I talk to them, but I am capable of working my ass off all day and then attend guests at night, I am capable of standing one feet all day to get my work done, even in the night if required,  I know my commitments and they will always be priority first no matter what comes in. I am capable of giving unconditional love to my loved ones and it’s the joy of loving them and being loved in return. I am ambitious, may be a bit too much for you to handle, but that’s your problem. Isn’t it?

And it will never have a full stop.

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Well, “I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

I’m sure you too face things like these every day, so tell me what is your story? Tell me what you’re capable of? How does society judge you? What do you hear about yourself? Tell me all of it and I’ll be all ears to it!

Cheers 

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#Woman Summit- Highlights

It was 5 in the evening when I got a call from Blogadda about the winner announcement of the #WomenPowerSummit contest. You can read the post here. Something inside me was constantly yelling about the results. As they were out quite late, my heart was wishing to know everything and finish this dilemma. When I learned, that I am one of the four bloggers who are invited for the event, believe me, I felt ecstatic. But at the same time a bit anxious as well, as to how I will be able to make it to the event. Juxtaposed at this, plus knowing about it at such a short notice, I doubted I’d be able to make it. Nevertheless, after lot many efforts, and thoughts, I finally reached there.

It was organized at ITC Maurya, New Delhi. The banquet was full of exquisite ladies from all the sectors in the industry. From media and advertising, to writers, to corporate, to teachers, to doctors, to social workers, activists and what not, depicting women have touched every sphere of work today. It was such a proud thing to be there amongst such incredible women. The summit was all about celebrating womanhood, celebrating the Sheroines (and not He-roines) of today and the coming future. There was something or the other that I learnt from the wonderful speakers. All of them had so much to give to the audience, so much to deliver, so much to share.

Maneka Gandhi (Union Minister for Women and Child Development), talked about the millions of possibilities for women, and why in the near future they will make a difference, why it is important to grant a maternity leave for 8 months, and why women should have pre-nuptial agreement before the wedding, why it was important to give support to women in the villages and why women are dependent on men. It was truly enlightening listening her.

Manabi Bandopadhyay (India’s First Transgender Principal), my goodness.. her life had been filled with so much of struggle, so much of hardships, being aloof at all times, being abandoned by her family only to bring her back when she started making money. It kind of left so many questions in our minds about our society and the acceptance towards such individuals that is somewhere missing, that often succumbs the family to leave their own children.

Juhi Chaturvedi (Writer, Piku and Vicky Donor), she was one brilliant Speaker amongst the lot. What an incredible lady she is. Her persona, her outlook towards life, towards her surroundings was worth giving an ear. There was so much to pick from such simple things that happen around us. About life, about old age, about problems. 

For instance, all of us refer to the age of the people (old ones) who are with us rather than treating them as individuals, as human beings, as family members. All we say is so and so is 60 years of age and they should not do these set of things or maybe they are 70 years of age and thus should not eat so many variety of things, shouldn’t go to all the places that they really want to explore, etc. We have these numbers in our minds which make us think in that particular format. Only if we allow ourselves to realize that they too are people and have needs like us, even when they are old. Old age demands time coz they have a lot of free time. Yes, there will always be arguments in the house with the elder generation, but that only depicts that you are involved. We are the ones who see them old and not them who see themselves as old!

Plus, there is no point in sulking and crying as it doesn’t helps and so how much can you cry?! At the end of the day you need to come to being you and get back to track where you left it behind.

In today’s time, pressure is on men to be progressive. Dare they say, that they don’t want their wives to work, dare they say that she can’t go anywhere, dare they allot her duty to only cook. It will only result in their becoming of the scapegoat of everything around. It’s Okay for me to feel something in that manner, but time is such that they no longer can express such stuff publicly!

Bhumi Padnekar (Actor), talked more about battling with your body type. Beauty is state of mind and it is all about accepting who you are. Women today are pressurized to look skiny, to look hot! Girls as young as 12 and 13 don’t eat properly just to maintain their figure, ignoring the fact that there’s more to life than weighing. They are more concerned about their ass, their waistline. Though a recent study claims that the rounder the hip/butt, the broader the brain! I don’t know about the others but it did make me happy! ;)

Well, dealing with your body type, and how it looks, is where upbringing comes into picture. Problem children are problem parents! They’re conditioning them, brainwashing their minds, that if they’re thin they’ll be liked and if not, then people will address them with terms as ‘unfit’, ‘fat’, ‘fatso’. They sub-consciously begin to reinforce and the child loses the weight to be liked their parents!

What we tend to ignore is indulgence is part of being human! What one needs to admit is self-acceptance. “I am happy because that is what I like, no matter  what. And it has to be intrinsic training”. One cannot look how one used to look 20 years ago and just like this, one cannot look something one will look 20 years from now, so celebrate how you look today and everyday and be good  about it! It all will come when we will start talking about healthy we are, rather than how thin or fat we are.

Follow the philosophy of wellness and not thinness!

Another intriguing discussion in this similar topic was why women accept such rubbish husbands, where they are all paunchy but want their wife to be hot and sexy! It’s simply foolish on girl’s part!

Are you getting the grip of event of the event? It was even more fantastic than this!

Ira Singhal (IAS Officer)- woman with disability who topped the IAS exam did it with all the ease in the world. And as far as her case was concerned, she was more like all of us. It’s her words that says, people will tend to look strange things around them and we humans are wired that way, but what you can do is give them a smile and make them comfortable and they will no longer find you strange. That was her mantra to deal with situations! Isn’t that great?

 Dilshad Master (Cancer Survivor) was diagnosed with cancer when her baby was just 9 months old. The incessant spirit to fight everything lead her close to her dreams!

 Bibi Sandeep Kaur (Mother with 80 daughters), started her journey from a terrorist to now being a mother of 80 daughters! Isn’t that incredible?

That’s what life does!

Aditi Mittal (Stand-Up Comedian), was there to steal the show with her wits and fancy! It was one of the most Epic sessions of the event.

Aditi Rao Hydari  (Actor), Amy Jackson (Actor),  Nirmala Sitharam (Minister of State for Commerce and Industry & Minister of State for Finance and Corporate Affairs), Mrunali Deshmukh (Lawyer) and other incredible females threw lights on topics ranging from the Economics in Marriage to designer babies, to the pre-nuptial agreement-why and why not. The highlights were:

•  One should not greedy in a marriage, but wise enough to stay with your partner and leave him  as well, as need be!
•  Love, Trust and Respect for each other are three pillars for an everlasting marriage!
• Have a child when you have a stable and loving relationship with your partner and not make the child a thing to mend your marriage!

O and how can forget to tell you about the mind blowing Spa Break! Yes, all of us got our goodie boxes! 

The Goodie Bag

And a soothing hand and shoulder massage! Can you beat that..! The sight was epic! All the ladies were enjoying themselves and the happiness on their faces was enough to make out the bliss they were experiencing. 

Enjoying my chilled Iced Tea along with massage ;)

After the high tea, there were a few models as well to display the beautiful jewelry by PC Jewellers, followed by another small competition to involve the audience, only to top it with wine and champagne!

Models displaying beautiful sarees and jewelry

Along with the priceless memories, we got souvenirs’ posing ourselves for lifetime.

It was an event worth attending. First event that I attended and I cannot thank Blogadda much! 

Looking forward to many such upcoming events!

Have you ever attended an event like this? Would love to hear your experiences.

Happy Reading

Cheers

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Let's create the Legacy!

 “Anmol.. I really need to start with work!”

“Then what is stopping you?”

“Where will I work? There are no corporate houses. It’s a small city, and you know how it is”

“What happened with the website that you were developing?”

“It’s going on, but nothing major. It barely requires anytime. Plus people here do not believe in the concept of taking everything online”

“That, I agree. And what about the interior designing firm that you applied for?”

“That man is a pervert! Plus the locality is not good. Not that I am making excuses, but you yourself won’t like it when you will check out the place. I don’t think it’s safe to work there!”

“Hmm.. Keeping looking then. I am sure you will come up something”

A few weeks later

“You’re getting really handy these days Riya.. what’s going on?”

“What?”

“As if you don’t know what I’m referring to..”

“I don’t know what you're referring to and I don't know how to explain this, but it’s not in my hands at all! I like to keep myself busy and that is how I have been brought up and I have done every possible thing to keep it that way! And now, with no work at all, I am bound get cranky.. and it’s something beyond my control!”

“You’re saying as if I have stopped you from something”

“Well you haven’t, but haven’t contributed anything either”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what I mean! I am constantly looking for work, but there’s always something that comes from your side. May be the timings, may be the place, may be the distance, may be the liking of your parents.. Mind you, Mr. Anmol Sharma, that is not how it works when one is out there to hunt for a job!”

“OK, I get your dilemma. Totally. Why don’t you start teaching?”

“In a school you mean?”

“Anywhere.. school.. college, whatever suits you”

“We stay in a joint family. Your parents won’t allow me to work with those inflexible hours”

“Then college? But it’s a small city. Not a decent crowd comes. You will get frustrated after a few days only”

“How about a coaching institute?”

“I think you can work that out. Dig in the details and see if that works”

“Wonderful..!!”

Riya is now working in a reputed institute and is very happy about it. The flexibility in the timing gives her enough time to give it to her family as well as her hobby- sketching. She loves to sketch. She keeps on participating in various social activities and is now part of many creative community clubs. She has organized various events that help people bring out their passion for creative things.

Well that’s not where it stops. She has become one popular bird in her circle. Friends, relatives, community members.. Everywhere! “She’s one lucky girl I must say, otherwise who allows so much of freedom to the woman of the house”, they say, “Well, she’s in a really good place right now”, “One must be involved in some or the other activities.. good she’s involved somewhere and is busy with it”, “Fortunate for her.. She’s getting to work” and the endless number of comments that people say in her near family and circle.

Riya is just another girl who fought really hard to find a way for herself. The consistency and the determination, led her to where she truly belonged. But what is astonishing are the two underlying things in the above mentioned situation. One, when it comes to females, where on earth does the question of allowing them to work come? Who gave men and the society this power? If one wants to work, then it’s totally that person’s matter, what they think about it and how do they want go about it. Especially when it comes to females. Why there has to be a permission that needs to be granted for her to work? Statistics says India ranked 124^th (towards the bottom of the 136 countries listed in the 2013 Global Gender Gap Index) and for women’s educational opportunity a ranking of 120 as stated in World Economic Forum, The India Gender Gap Review 2013.

Two, why do people feel that if women are working, it’s fun and she’s lucky? We don’t think like this for men! Do we? Why can’t everybody consider the question of equality? If men are working, it’s their duty and obviously they are bound to work, whereas, if a woman is working, then she’s lucky that her family is allowing or that she must be involved in something or the other so as to while away her time.

It’s kind of weird!

We do talk about equality that is given to them, but we barely treat them equally. And these are certain things which are expected out of her to do and she too takes them as her duty. The power of societal norms and the shebang where patriarchy rules, it gets difficult to put women’s needs first!

After delivering the baby, it’s quite obvious that a mother will stay home and take care of the baby till the time the baby has grown enough to be left at home. Why doesn’t this same thing can be done by men? Willingly taking a break from their work and be a stay-at-home dad, with consent only, and let women be the primary breadwinner. What is the problem in that? It’s a very rare thing to happen in India, but then why not?

Women are underpaid. In every sector. Not even the Bollywood has spared it. The highest paid amount for an actor is somewhere around 50 crores and for the best actress in the industry the highest amount is just 11 crores! It is all about breaking the stereotypes. Males dominate every possible industry.. be it music, airwaves, film, defense and the list continues. Most of the music videos are produced by men, no major movies are directed by women, no major record label is being headed by a woman. And the worst part is, they are only seen as sex objects!

To an extent men control women’s lives and women also succumb happily to this system. Decisions as basic as what they should wear when visiting a distant relative, should they continue their friendship with their male friends, the time till which they can stay out of the house, meeting friends in the absence of their husband at an odd hour as 10 in the evening, seeking permission from men when circumstances want them to travel to various parts of the country or may be overseas, explaining the need for them to travel and with whom along with the particulars of stay and travel details are a few things that come as a barrier in their way.

Now, for once, let’s turn the tables, and keep men in place of women and then think of these circumstances. I don’t think any men would need to give a justification to anybody in the house even if he wants to grab a pint of beer with his lousy friends at 11.30 pm. Or if it’s about his work, God knows, how many secret Bangkok trips have been planned in the name of making hard earned money, which the wife prodigally spends and has absolutely no idea how is he making the money, err, how is he languishing the money! And yes, it is a business trip. We mustn’t question them!

It was once; when one female, as innocent as a lamb, had no idea what Thailand was all about. All she missed was her husband’s absence, when in no time, in one of the casual meetings with her girlfriends she discovered truth behind the business trips or I must say the pleasure trips. On confronting and threatening that she would complain about it to his parents, he obviously played the emotional card.

No women want to be treated specially. All she wants is to be treated equally. Be it the queues or the seating arrangements or the reservation in anything. Be it about sharing the bill, or lifting a heavy thing (an extra hand will do no harm, but completely boycotting is not done), OK yes, men are physically stronger than women, but who knows giving them proper training might do wonders! Also, sharing the business details and seeking for ideas and insights, sharing the parenting duties equally!

Give us what you give men, without any special benefits. I'm not saying treat women like men. The point is treat them equal, with equal rights, that’s it! I think men understand the difference between the two terms, specially and equally! I mean treating them specially only for having a vagina instead of balls, is quite uncanny! Don’t you feel?

This post is written for India Today Woman Summit 2015 and I am blogging for the India Today Woman Summit 2015 #WomenPower activity at Blogadda.

And I nailed it.. Yipeeee..!   

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