#Woman Summit- Highlights

It was 5 in the evening when I got a call from Blogadda about the winner announcement of the #WomenPowerSummit contest. You can read the post here. Something inside me was constantly yelling about the results. As they were out quite late, my heart was wishing to know everything and finish this dilemma. When I learned, that I am one of the four bloggers who are invited for the event, believe me, I felt ecstatic. But at the same time a bit anxious as well, as to how I will be able to make it to the event. Juxtaposed at this, plus knowing about it at such a short notice, I doubted I’d be able to make it. Nevertheless, after lot many efforts, and thoughts, I finally reached there.

It was organized at ITC Maurya, New Delhi. The banquet was full of exquisite ladies from all the sectors in the industry. From media and advertising, to writers, to corporate, to teachers, to doctors, to social workers, activists and what not, depicting women have touched every sphere of work today. It was such a proud thing to be there amongst such incredible women. The summit was all about celebrating womanhood, celebrating the Sheroines (and not He-roines) of today and the coming future. There was something or the other that I learnt from the wonderful speakers. All of them had so much to give to the audience, so much to deliver, so much to share.

Maneka Gandhi (Union Minister for Women and Child Development), talked about the millions of possibilities for women, and why in the near future they will make a difference, why it is important to grant a maternity leave for 8 months, and why women should have pre-nuptial agreement before the wedding, why it was important to give support to women in the villages and why women are dependent on men. It was truly enlightening listening her.

Manabi Bandopadhyay (India’s First Transgender Principal), my goodness.. her life had been filled with so much of struggle, so much of hardships, being aloof at all times, being abandoned by her family only to bring her back when she started making money. It kind of left so many questions in our minds about our society and the acceptance towards such individuals that is somewhere missing, that often succumbs the family to leave their own children.

Juhi Chaturvedi (Writer, Piku and Vicky Donor), she was one brilliant Speaker amongst the lot. What an incredible lady she is. Her persona, her outlook towards life, towards her surroundings was worth giving an ear. There was so much to pick from such simple things that happen around us. About life, about old age, about problems. 

For instance, all of us refer to the age of the people (old ones) who are with us rather than treating them as individuals, as human beings, as family members. All we say is so and so is 60 years of age and they should not do these set of things or maybe they are 70 years of age and thus should not eat so many variety of things, shouldn’t go to all the places that they really want to explore, etc. We have these numbers in our minds which make us think in that particular format. Only if we allow ourselves to realize that they too are people and have needs like us, even when they are old. Old age demands time coz they have a lot of free time. Yes, there will always be arguments in the house with the elder generation, but that only depicts that you are involved. We are the ones who see them old and not them who see themselves as old!

Plus, there is no point in sulking and crying as it doesn’t helps and so how much can you cry?! At the end of the day you need to come to being you and get back to track where you left it behind.

In today’s time, pressure is on men to be progressive. Dare they say, that they don’t want their wives to work, dare they say that she can’t go anywhere, dare they allot her duty to only cook. It will only result in their becoming of the scapegoat of everything around. It’s Okay for me to feel something in that manner, but time is such that they no longer can express such stuff publicly!

Bhumi Padnekar (Actor), talked more about battling with your body type. Beauty is state of mind and it is all about accepting who you are. Women today are pressurized to look skiny, to look hot! Girls as young as 12 and 13 don’t eat properly just to maintain their figure, ignoring the fact that there’s more to life than weighing. They are more concerned about their ass, their waistline. Though a recent study claims that the rounder the hip/butt, the broader the brain! I don’t know about the others but it did make me happy! ;)

Well, dealing with your body type, and how it looks, is where upbringing comes into picture. Problem children are problem parents! They’re conditioning them, brainwashing their minds, that if they’re thin they’ll be liked and if not, then people will address them with terms as ‘unfit’, ‘fat’, ‘fatso’. They sub-consciously begin to reinforce and the child loses the weight to be liked their parents!

What we tend to ignore is indulgence is part of being human! What one needs to admit is self-acceptance. “I am happy because that is what I like, no matter  what. And it has to be intrinsic training”. One cannot look how one used to look 20 years ago and just like this, one cannot look something one will look 20 years from now, so celebrate how you look today and everyday and be good  about it! It all will come when we will start talking about healthy we are, rather than how thin or fat we are.

Follow the philosophy of wellness and not thinness!

Another intriguing discussion in this similar topic was why women accept such rubbish husbands, where they are all paunchy but want their wife to be hot and sexy! It’s simply foolish on girl’s part!

Are you getting the grip of event of the event? It was even more fantastic than this!

Ira Singhal (IAS Officer)- woman with disability who topped the IAS exam did it with all the ease in the world. And as far as her case was concerned, she was more like all of us. It’s her words that says, people will tend to look strange things around them and we humans are wired that way, but what you can do is give them a smile and make them comfortable and they will no longer find you strange. That was her mantra to deal with situations! Isn’t that great?

 Dilshad Master (Cancer Survivor) was diagnosed with cancer when her baby was just 9 months old. The incessant spirit to fight everything lead her close to her dreams!

 Bibi Sandeep Kaur (Mother with 80 daughters), started her journey from a terrorist to now being a mother of 80 daughters! Isn’t that incredible?

That’s what life does!

Aditi Mittal (Stand-Up Comedian), was there to steal the show with her wits and fancy! It was one of the most Epic sessions of the event.

Aditi Rao Hydari  (Actor), Amy Jackson (Actor),  Nirmala Sitharam (Minister of State for Commerce and Industry & Minister of State for Finance and Corporate Affairs), Mrunali Deshmukh (Lawyer) and other incredible females threw lights on topics ranging from the Economics in Marriage to designer babies, to the pre-nuptial agreement-why and why not. The highlights were:

•  One should not greedy in a marriage, but wise enough to stay with your partner and leave him  as well, as need be!
•  Love, Trust and Respect for each other are three pillars for an everlasting marriage!
• Have a child when you have a stable and loving relationship with your partner and not make the child a thing to mend your marriage!

O and how can forget to tell you about the mind blowing Spa Break! Yes, all of us got our goodie boxes! 

The Goodie Bag

And a soothing hand and shoulder massage! Can you beat that..! The sight was epic! All the ladies were enjoying themselves and the happiness on their faces was enough to make out the bliss they were experiencing. 

Enjoying my chilled Iced Tea along with massage ;)

After the high tea, there were a few models as well to display the beautiful jewelry by PC Jewellers, followed by another small competition to involve the audience, only to top it with wine and champagne!

Models displaying beautiful sarees and jewelry

Along with the priceless memories, we got souvenirs’ posing ourselves for lifetime.

It was an event worth attending. First event that I attended and I cannot thank Blogadda much! 

Looking forward to many such upcoming events!

Have you ever attended an event like this? Would love to hear your experiences.

Happy Reading

Cheers

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Let's create the Legacy!

 “Anmol.. I really need to start with work!”

“Then what is stopping you?”

“Where will I work? There are no corporate houses. It’s a small city, and you know how it is”

“What happened with the website that you were developing?”

“It’s going on, but nothing major. It barely requires anytime. Plus people here do not believe in the concept of taking everything online”

“That, I agree. And what about the interior designing firm that you applied for?”

“That man is a pervert! Plus the locality is not good. Not that I am making excuses, but you yourself won’t like it when you will check out the place. I don’t think it’s safe to work there!”

“Hmm.. Keeping looking then. I am sure you will come up something”

A few weeks later

“You’re getting really handy these days Riya.. what’s going on?”

“What?”

“As if you don’t know what I’m referring to..”

“I don’t know what you're referring to and I don't know how to explain this, but it’s not in my hands at all! I like to keep myself busy and that is how I have been brought up and I have done every possible thing to keep it that way! And now, with no work at all, I am bound get cranky.. and it’s something beyond my control!”

“You’re saying as if I have stopped you from something”

“Well you haven’t, but haven’t contributed anything either”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what I mean! I am constantly looking for work, but there’s always something that comes from your side. May be the timings, may be the place, may be the distance, may be the liking of your parents.. Mind you, Mr. Anmol Sharma, that is not how it works when one is out there to hunt for a job!”

“OK, I get your dilemma. Totally. Why don’t you start teaching?”

“In a school you mean?”

“Anywhere.. school.. college, whatever suits you”

“We stay in a joint family. Your parents won’t allow me to work with those inflexible hours”

“Then college? But it’s a small city. Not a decent crowd comes. You will get frustrated after a few days only”

“How about a coaching institute?”

“I think you can work that out. Dig in the details and see if that works”

“Wonderful..!!”

Riya is now working in a reputed institute and is very happy about it. The flexibility in the timing gives her enough time to give it to her family as well as her hobby- sketching. She loves to sketch. She keeps on participating in various social activities and is now part of many creative community clubs. She has organized various events that help people bring out their passion for creative things.

Well that’s not where it stops. She has become one popular bird in her circle. Friends, relatives, community members.. Everywhere! “She’s one lucky girl I must say, otherwise who allows so much of freedom to the woman of the house”, they say, “Well, she’s in a really good place right now”, “One must be involved in some or the other activities.. good she’s involved somewhere and is busy with it”, “Fortunate for her.. She’s getting to work” and the endless number of comments that people say in her near family and circle.

Riya is just another girl who fought really hard to find a way for herself. The consistency and the determination, led her to where she truly belonged. But what is astonishing are the two underlying things in the above mentioned situation. One, when it comes to females, where on earth does the question of allowing them to work come? Who gave men and the society this power? If one wants to work, then it’s totally that person’s matter, what they think about it and how do they want go about it. Especially when it comes to females. Why there has to be a permission that needs to be granted for her to work? Statistics says India ranked 124^th (towards the bottom of the 136 countries listed in the 2013 Global Gender Gap Index) and for women’s educational opportunity a ranking of 120 as stated in World Economic Forum, The India Gender Gap Review 2013.

Two, why do people feel that if women are working, it’s fun and she’s lucky? We don’t think like this for men! Do we? Why can’t everybody consider the question of equality? If men are working, it’s their duty and obviously they are bound to work, whereas, if a woman is working, then she’s lucky that her family is allowing or that she must be involved in something or the other so as to while away her time.

It’s kind of weird!

We do talk about equality that is given to them, but we barely treat them equally. And these are certain things which are expected out of her to do and she too takes them as her duty. The power of societal norms and the shebang where patriarchy rules, it gets difficult to put women’s needs first!

After delivering the baby, it’s quite obvious that a mother will stay home and take care of the baby till the time the baby has grown enough to be left at home. Why doesn’t this same thing can be done by men? Willingly taking a break from their work and be a stay-at-home dad, with consent only, and let women be the primary breadwinner. What is the problem in that? It’s a very rare thing to happen in India, but then why not?

Women are underpaid. In every sector. Not even the Bollywood has spared it. The highest paid amount for an actor is somewhere around 50 crores and for the best actress in the industry the highest amount is just 11 crores! It is all about breaking the stereotypes. Males dominate every possible industry.. be it music, airwaves, film, defense and the list continues. Most of the music videos are produced by men, no major movies are directed by women, no major record label is being headed by a woman. And the worst part is, they are only seen as sex objects!

To an extent men control women’s lives and women also succumb happily to this system. Decisions as basic as what they should wear when visiting a distant relative, should they continue their friendship with their male friends, the time till which they can stay out of the house, meeting friends in the absence of their husband at an odd hour as 10 in the evening, seeking permission from men when circumstances want them to travel to various parts of the country or may be overseas, explaining the need for them to travel and with whom along with the particulars of stay and travel details are a few things that come as a barrier in their way.

Now, for once, let’s turn the tables, and keep men in place of women and then think of these circumstances. I don’t think any men would need to give a justification to anybody in the house even if he wants to grab a pint of beer with his lousy friends at 11.30 pm. Or if it’s about his work, God knows, how many secret Bangkok trips have been planned in the name of making hard earned money, which the wife prodigally spends and has absolutely no idea how is he making the money, err, how is he languishing the money! And yes, it is a business trip. We mustn’t question them!

It was once; when one female, as innocent as a lamb, had no idea what Thailand was all about. All she missed was her husband’s absence, when in no time, in one of the casual meetings with her girlfriends she discovered truth behind the business trips or I must say the pleasure trips. On confronting and threatening that she would complain about it to his parents, he obviously played the emotional card.

No women want to be treated specially. All she wants is to be treated equally. Be it the queues or the seating arrangements or the reservation in anything. Be it about sharing the bill, or lifting a heavy thing (an extra hand will do no harm, but completely boycotting is not done), OK yes, men are physically stronger than women, but who knows giving them proper training might do wonders! Also, sharing the business details and seeking for ideas and insights, sharing the parenting duties equally!

Give us what you give men, without any special benefits. I'm not saying treat women like men. The point is treat them equal, with equal rights, that’s it! I think men understand the difference between the two terms, specially and equally! I mean treating them specially only for having a vagina instead of balls, is quite uncanny! Don’t you feel?

This post is written for India Today Woman Summit 2015 and I am blogging for the India Today Woman Summit 2015 #WomenPower activity at Blogadda.

And I nailed it.. Yipeeee..!   

Happy Reading

Cheers 

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