Drenched #FridayFotoFiction

It had been 12 long months since I had seen him.

And the rains weren’t making it any easier.

I held my cup of coffee, picked up the novel, played my favourite music or to say his favourite music, and sat by the window, lost in his thoughts. 

My heart was pounding at a rate higher than usual, leaving me perplexed. And I wasn’t understanding the cause of this uneasiness since morning. 

A nice walk would ease the feeling, I thought to myself. 

Soon, I picked the keys, grabbed the umbrella and opened the door and witnessed the sight that nearly took my breath away! It was him… Standing right in front of me!

Drenched.

Both of us were. He with rains and I in his love. 

***

Linking with #FridayFotoFiction with Mayuri and Tina.

Cheers

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Breathe and Smile

 ‘We will welcome the guests with the tilak and maang teeka for the ladies and broach for the gents’,

‘Yes, that will look really nice and new’

‘But didi, it’s a baby shower. Not a wedding function’

‘Let it be, it will look nice’

‘Mummyji, I was thinking to have the badges made like mommy-to-be, daddy-to-be, grandma-to-be, etc. They’re really in these days.’

‘No. I don’t think it’s a good idea. We’ll do the maang teeka thing’

Hearing this, Neeta took a deep breath and let it go with a sigh.

***

‘After checking with everyone, I think 31^st December will be the best date for the baby shower. Moreover, it’s a Sunday so it won’t be a hassle for the outstation guests. We’ve shifted the date so many times… I’m glad it’s fixed now.’

‘Looks good to me’

‘As it is an afternoon function, we will be free by evening. Also, it will be New Year’s Eve, we should plan a small party for our guests. A bonfire, good snacks and a cake at 12 am… wouldn’t it be wonderful?’

And there Neeta stood… flustered with the idea. It will be her 9^th month of pregnancy. It was her baby shower for which everyone was so excited. Except her. She was happy only from the outside.

It will be so much of strain for her. First, to have a function in the afternoon and then another on the same day where she won’t be able to sleep before the clock strikes midnight. This was worrying her more than anything.

‘Mummyji, it will get really stressful for me. Let’s keep the function on any other date. It will be too much on the plate for me having back to back functions with all the guests in the house’

‘I doubt we’ll be able to shift the date. You don’t worry. It won’t be a problem. You can rest. We’ll handle everything. You sleep early, no problem’

‘How can I sleep early with so many guests in the house, mummyji? It will not look nice. Moreover, I don’t want to. I too would want to enjoy with everyone. Won’t it be much more convenient if we shift the dates?’

‘Dates can’t be shifted now. They’re fixed. I’m telling you, don’t worry, everything will be fine’

Yet, once again, her opinion was ignored and the things were carried on according to the whims and fancies of everyone in the family, but her.

Neeta was anyway a bit reluctant towards the idea of celebrating it large. She didn’t want any gathering or guests or celebrations. All she wished for was the safe arrival of her bundle of joy and then throw a party for everyone. Obviously, what she thought never mattered to the family and everyone continued with their party planning.

Just like this, her suggestions and ideas were ignored in every aspect. Be it the food menu, or the venue or the timings or the photographer or the gifts or the preparations and the funny thing is it was her baby shower!

Breathing it all out, she calmed herself out and wore a smile every day, not for anyone else but for her own mental peace and sanity! 

Cheers

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Of random ranting and more…

Of late I’ve been battling with a lot of issues and anxiety that is going inside me. Earlier I blamed it on the time that I’m going through but as the time is passing, I’ve started to realize it is not the time that is to be blamed but me.

It is me because of which I’m unable to deal with things around me.

Since childhood, I’ve hardly been an angry person. I generally don’t take things too seriously and let go of a lot of things. Not because I want to, but because they don’t affect me that much and hence no anger. Yes, there were times when there have been blasts and now when I think of them, here are a few questions and answers that I come to.

Do I use to get angry? No.

Why? Because I used to speak most of the stuff that I felt. Whatever I had in my heart, it was out from my mouth to my friends and that is why all the friendships I’ve had were unstained. Because nothing is inside and everything is outside… crystal clear.

Sure, there were issues with my parents while growing up and that was because I wasn’t vocal about how I felt and hence the ability to not speak my heart out and keeping things inside me led to a lot of frustrations which I couldn’t address and hence the turmoil times.

I’ve always been a chirpy person and I can’t keep quiet for long. Even if I’ve been upset something, that phase didn’t last much because I always speak out to people around me and clear things up and I get back to being me.

But today, as I look back, a lot has changed. I have changed. I am not the same ‘geet’ anymore. I barely speak. I hardly crack jokes. I don’t like sharing too much. The spark that I had seems to fade away. The willingness to know things isn’t there. That care and concern for people around me don't bother me now. And to top it all up, I am more frustrated than ever! Because obviously, I don’t speak much, I don’t bring out my mind out!

Why you wonder? Because, one, I’m not working. And not working means not moving out of the house much and hence no change in the daily routine, no meeting of new people. 

Two, there isn’t anyone around with who I can share my woes and tell them how I feel from inside. Three, because of the self-esteem issues, anything that goes against what I think makes me even more vulnerable. It brings tears to my eyes and the frustration that builds up is at its peak because of the inability to bring out what I have inside, in turn making me more bitter, aggressive and a bit depressed at the same time.

Not speaking up piles a lot of things making it work like a venom on my tongue where without making any rational point, I simply blurt out the thing that pricks me the most.

Also, earlier, if not speaking, I used to write it all out but this time even that is not happening. I don’t feel like. Doing. Anything.

I’ve signed up for a project next month and I am not enthusiastic about it at all. I’m wondering how I will be able to meet up the deadlines and the expectations and hoo-haa that comes with it. I didn’t even feel like signing up for the other things that are in store for next month.

I am not liking the kind of person I am becoming day by day. And I think of the worst repercussions possible!

And what’s even more pathetic is I don’t seem to care. I just want to let it go. Give up. On everything. And run away. From everything. Where there is no one. Not a single soul I know. No contact whatsoever. And I am not in a position to do this. Of course, it’s neither the solution nor this is going to happen! Which makes me even sadder!

P.S: I’ve opened the Word on my laptop zillion time to come up with some creative writing… only to end up ranting about whatever is going on.

P.P.S: This hopefully might clear a bit of the air and I might come up with something better to write.

How has the past few months treated you? Share with me… who knows what may trigger and I might get some inspiration!

Cheers

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Lone in the Herd

We live in times that we scroll through the Whatsapp/Contact list to see who it is we can talk to and yet don’t find a single person to rescue us from the loneliness at that moment… I remember the time, say 6-7 years from now, when Facebook was a rare thing and only “friends” used to be there in the friend list. Whatever you did or shared on Facebook, those friends actually cared and connected through it. It was the time when having mere 20 Likes on a photo was more than enough coz all 20 of them were real likes… Friends with whom we stayed in touch, friends who really mattered to us and whose single ‘Like’ would mean they know how we are doing.

I wonder how times have changed where having 300 likes on a photo from people we barely interact isn’t a big deal… the friend list is huge and yet there is not a single soul with whom we can talk when needed the most. We’re all busy… busy in our lives making money, working our ass off in the offices, having a family to take care of at home. In the middle of all this chaos, friends become some familiar faces we used to know. Those who were best friends are now mere acquaintances and people we hardly thought would make forward in our lives seem to be the only contacts we’re left with.

We’re all grown-ups now, we have ego issues, we have our reasons to not call and in between this we all learn to live without each other, to let go of the relations we never thought we’d ever been able to live without and the worst thing is it doesn’t hurt… it isn’t painful... it’s all numb, Neutral… 

|It doesn’t matter anymore and we hardly care to make the difference, to make the first move, to see the change it might bring because of one small gesture.

Are we really dying inside? Or we’ve just learned to live on the surface and put a smile on our faces for the world to showcase?

How can times change us so much? So much so that NOTHING REALLY MATTERS?!

Cheers

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The Month that went by... #AtoZReflections

I sense relief within me with a little bit of heavy heart at the same time. The blog hopping, commenting, replying, sharing... it was a phase full of utter madness and it paid off! It always does! And it always leaves you with a sense of pride.

The month was all about managing my time better, the discipline that is required to carry it off and the lessons learned.

As the AtoZ fever was in the air when the year started by, I had made up my mind on participating for the third consecutive year. Though, I did not think anything beyond that.

As February went by, a dear friend was getting all paranoid about the theme and asked me about it at the same time and I was like, dude... it’s Feb! I have a whole month to think and plan and write...

What I did not realize was this month wouldn’t just pass but would run like an Olympic athlete!

Coming up with the theme:

As always, I was confused and finally went with my heart. There was a reason behind choosing the theme I chose.

It often happens when there are certain things that happen around me and I don’t really feel comfortable about it. I am not that articulate when it comes to keeping my perspective in a group (especially family) and that is when I feel the urge to put it somewhere, to show the other side, to think from another angle different from the way everyone has been seeing all their lives, that there is so much more beyond the stereotypes, that whatever everybody does is always for a reason and explaining all of that to a bunch of people who will never come to the point of agreement, it is kind of futile.

It was all these thoughts that inspired me to come up with this theme, where I thought of writing down everything that I think, follow and believe.

I often hear, what I talk is impractical (for example, my stand on divorced women or looking beyond looks for any marriage or having a baby or not is completely one’s choice and the likes), that all of it happens in books, television series or movies. In reality, it is much more complicated. I completely vouch for it being complicated but I also vouch for the fact that it exists, that things are changing around us and that we need to change ourselves if we want the change in our society.

A to Z feelings:

Expressing my thoughts this A to Z Challenge was beyond gratifying. It made me happy because I realized I wasn’t the only one who thinks this way. With like-minded bloggers, I got an immense support and motivation, not to mention wings to my thoughts and confidence to express them loud out there.

The Discipline that came with A to Z:

Initially, I had close to 18 posts scheduled (which is so not me!) and I was doing fine but as they were coming to an end, I was panicking because I was falling out of stories but eventually every day in the evening, I sat down and wrote the post for the next day and scheduled it and started with my blog hopping.

It was the first time I had scheduled these many posts and I was happy that I did. Writing every day became kind of a ritual that I would want to continue with. April is now over and this is just the second blog post this month but I am writing every day without fail. I hope to continue this way.

Lessons Learned:

What I understood this month is when we have a deadline coming up or a challenge that we take up, we make our minds continuously think and ponder over things; we push ourselves (beyond our limits) to the extent that we never do otherwise and feel surprised for the way we perform. I, for one, have countless thoughts in my mind which I feel like writing but I don’t. I just postpone (which I am expert at) and make an excuse to myself. I assume on my own that the topic is not worthy of being written or desirable enough to form a blog post.

But this time, even the slightest or tiniest of the idea took the shape of a complete blog post. It was kind of an eye-opener for me and I’d like to keep my eyes open now.

Contented with the numbers:

I’m not a number person. Yes, I do feel happy when I reach a certain benchmark but I don’t get finicky if I don’t have them. This year, during the A to Z, my blog entered the 6-digit figure and it felt contended and worthy of everything, worthy of investing time in my blog and the peace of mind that comes with it.

Readers Choice:

‘Arranged Marriage’ was one post that caught maximum attention with the highest number of views. Other posts that intrigued the readers and compelled them to think over were Beautiful Bride, Extra Marital Affair, Identity, Quit and Understand.

You can read all the posts here.

Verdict:

All in all, it was fun writing all month and I am happy that I survived!

A big Thank you to everyone who stopped by and encouraged me with their beautiful comments and thank you to the ones who did not stop by (it only pushed me more to improve my content).

So tell me, did you participate this year? How was it? What did you learn? Where did you struggle the most?

Cheers

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N- Narrow... Minds

‘I’m really fond of that woman’

‘Yeah... me too... Isn’t she always full of life?’

‘Her smile is contagious! I’m glad we have such people in our office’

‘Me too’

Just when the discussion between two senior persons in the organization was over, a staff member informed them about the issues that had been going in her personal life. She had been married for roughly 6 years with a child and is now getting divorced! Her family too has abandoned her! When the two ladies heard about it, this is how their conservation went:

‘How can she smile all the time?’

‘Isn’t she upset? I can’t see a single line of worry on her forehead! How is this possible?’

‘What is she going to do now? A single mother with no family! Looks like her life has totally ended’

‘I think she should go back to her husband! That is what a true woman does! Never leave the house of the husband’

‘I know! These modern women are totally spoiling things around us!’

‘I wonder, till when we will have such people in our organization!’

‘I’m still not over the fact, of how on earth is she not upset? As if it is no big deal to her!! Here, if I have a small tiff with my husband, I can cry a river over and she... she can’t even manage to look a teeny tiny bit unhappy?!’

‘Times sure have changed around us’

'No wonder!'

Source

This is not a piece of fiction. It is the actual incidence. I wish people could see beyond a smile and not judge people for the way they want to be. They would know how many evil thoughts everyone is fighting inside them but readily wear a smile for the world, to see!

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Welcome to my Blog! This A to Z Challenge, my theme is ‘Let’s see the other Side’. Through this theme, I'm trying to giving voice lot of things that go around us and yet I can't do much to bring about the change. I feel, sharing my thoughts in my space here will somewhere make someone think and bring about the change we all want to see!

where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.

Feel free to express your thoughts and I'd be all ears!

I hope you have a great time here!

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Without You

Without you,

The days would be so blue,

No evening to look forward

No reason to pick a fight or two!

Without you,

Life would be so screwed

With no one around to share the woes

All I’ll have is bad mood!

Without you,

With whom will I share my stew?

And enjoy the beautiful view

And see the night pass through.

Without you,

Shopping would be so boring

No company to roam on the streets

No roaring because of your snoring!

Without you,

Gossips wouldn’t be fun

Nothing to spice it up

No joy in putting a pun! ;)

Without you,

With whom will I cry my heart’s woes?

And throw tantrums for no reason

And get my daily dose! ;)

Without you,

Who will point and tell my flaws?

And who will laugh at my faux pas?

And who will stand for me and applause?

Without you,

The Sunday cookings wouldn’t feel new

And my odd midnight cravings?

They wouldn’t be fulfilled with full credit and due!

Without you,

Who will I tease and get all pleasure?

And the endless tickles that take away your breath

Giving me our priceless laughter together, that I treasure!

Without you,

There will be no perfections

Life will be without directions

Without any connections!

~G

Linking this to Blogchatter Prompt- Without you

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#Valentine'sSpecial

Source

So I was sulking and ignoring him.

There are days when something happens that I don’t like and I go, mum. Period.

And today, when I got home from class, he was getting ready for work. And I obviously, ignored him again and moved on.

And there, he held my hand!

‘What happened?’

‘Nothing’

‘Then why all quiet?’

‘I’m fine. You say wassup?’

‘Come here, you’, bringing me close, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’, and in a flurry of seconds, my heart melted away, and sulkiness vanished!

I smiled and giggled and looked a bit surprised and hugged him, wishing him the same!

                                                            

                                                                     ****

This 101-word drabble is written for the occasion you all are drowned in! Happy Valentine's Day to you.

Cheers

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Bitter Sweet Life

The other day this thought crossed my mind. And it made me realise things change so fast around us and we don’t even notice. But when realisations strike, it obviously gets too late!

So many things change when we grow up. And we become the kinds we never thought we would. Our circle gets limited. We become less understanding and more judging. We give less and expect more. For every ounce of stuff done around us. We’re always surrounded by things neck deep that we barely get time for our loved ones. And so, we don’t call them either. Rather, wait for the other one to make an effort and if the other doesn’t, it becomes our birthright to blame them for being busy and not calling us or not making an effort.

Convenient, isn’t it?

From the times in the school, when sharing about your first crush, or first boyfriend or the many firsts, that used to be the highlight of the day, without which we wouldn’t be able to digest our food, and was the top priority to get it out somehow, to the times when we fight our scariest demon... all alone! And the worst part is we start hiding things. Coz of the fear of being judged, or probably to display that our life is perfect. That we know how to deal with stuff around us!

I don’t know what is it and more importantly, why it is like this!

Things change. Relationships change. Priorities change.

|Something that once seemed so evil becomes the only drug to keep you going.

I, for one, used to be the most caring person around. I used to think about others before myself. I still do. I used to be the one making calls on birthdays to wish the person not-so-special (I've stopped doing that), the one who was always ready to sacrifice and suffer, the one who’d never put herself before anyone else, the one who couldn’t live without her friends, the one whose yapping used to be her thing, the one who couldn’t resist sharing the minutest of details happening in her life. Sharing the particulars of the most silly things that can happen in one’s life, to obviously the ones that are truly worth sharing. And today, when I look at myself, I feel so different. Part of that person inside me has taken a slow death!

I barely text my friends, let alone call them. And I don’t even regret that. If someone calls, it’s fine by me. But that urge to take that extra effort, it doesn’t come. I’m still figuring why?

But the good part is during this process, the ones who are truly yours will always come to you and that makes you happy. Really happy.

Recently, I saw this word and it resonated with my state of mind so well that I want to share it here.

Yes, sometimes I feel Exhaustipated!

I don’t care about things and I feel okay about it! People, who know me well, know how strange it is for me to feel this way.

And this year, the resolution that truly is the highlight and the one I’m religiously working on, is to ‘Speak less’! Yes, you heard that! Loud and clear.

Not that I’m trying to change who I am, but trying to change certain habits that have been doing more harm than good! And no one is responsible for it, but me. Whenever I end up feeling bad, I realize it’s all because of me that I felt the way I did. I’m not blaming anyone, nor am I pointing fingers at anyone, all I’m saying is there are certainly things that I should change about myself, coz no one but me will be the one getting hurt the most!

And in between, I look forward to discovering more of myself. I’m sure it’s going to be worth it.

I think it’s enough for today. Tell me about yourself.

Have you ever done this? Tried to change something about yourself and the way it turned out to be? 

Was it good? Was it worth the try? Share with me all your wisdom and I am all ears here!

Does this post resonate with you? Let me know either way.

Cheers

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Corridor

Source

‘I ran into that corridor! Did I make a mistake?’

‘What did you see?’

‘It was gorgeous Daddy! Magnificent! There were lights and doors. And the floor was shining like a... mirror... so clean! I loved it...! Can we live in that corridor, daddy? It had so many doors; can’t we use just one?’

‘It’s not ours, sweetheart. We work here, do all the chores... we can’t live here!’

‘If we do everything here, then why not live? You clean it so good, daddy!’

Poor man’s lone eyes escaped a tear as he narrated the harsh inequalities of the world!

I am taking my Alexa rank to the next level with Blogchatter.

This drabble (100 word fiction) is written for Friday Fictioneers, 30th September 2016.

Cheers

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#Wednesdaywisdom

Cheers

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Late-twenties crisis: Are you having one? #MondayMusings

Somehow, I’ve started speaking less.

It surely sounds like a relief to the people around me but this thing is kind of taking a toll on me. It is affecting me big time.

Sometimes I wonder am I moving towards depression? What is it that is going wrong in my life? Or what is it that is bothering me so much?

Everything, almost everything around me is in good shape and yet I don’t feel that joy. Even if there is a sense of happiness, it is temporary.

I don’t feel like going out, I don’t feel like meeting my friends and even if I do, I barely speak with them and I mostly prefer to stay mum. And yes, I do cry for no reason. Tiniest of things affect me, my sensitivity is at its epitome! All of it is so UNLIKE me! Countless thoughts revolve around the orbit of my brain and it’s difficult to find an escape. These thoughts are usually negative.

I’m turning into a woman I don’t like. My zeal to do things seems to flicker, the emphatic nature that I have seems to fade away, finding joys in others joys seems like a task, I get unhappy with what I have and wish for things (not necessarily materialistic) that others have!

All this is because I’m speaking less. And I don’t really know why! I always have expressed my heart out, talking to people has been my forte, and meeting them and feeling good has always been on my plus side! And now, suddenly, it seems incomplete.

I know it in my heart when I’m back to my usual self, all of this crap will go away!

Not that I have a lot of free time, a lot is going on but that volition to be good, do things, entertain people, be the heart and soul of my friends is languishing.

Yesterday, I met a dear friend after a really long time. And she was busy on her phone mostly and I was bored and thus ended up being on my phone! Again so unlike me!

I was home after being at my mum’s place for a couple of days and coming home meant happiness, it meant seeing my husband after a while. It was bliss. I loved having him around and things were going pretty smooth between us. And yet, I got pissed on such a petty thing. And spoilt my mood. And mind you, he was nowhere at fault. It was all in my head, all the futile, baseless thoughts that I keep having, that botch up everything around me, every time!

Is it depression? Are these the symptoms? Or is it the late-twenty crisis? Or are my planetary situations a bit deviated from their paths (if only there is a sound reason behind it)? I don’t know it yet and I don’t feel like finding out either!

The situation is not that worse, but it’s not good on the other hand! Something is bothering me, I just don’t know it yet!

Does this ring a bell with you? Have you felt something like this? What did you do? How did you escape? You gotta tell me! It really is affecting me!

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Z- Zealous

‘What theme should I choose? Please help. I have no clue!’

I said those lines to almost everyone I met! Narrating the A-to-Z-Challenge, seeking inputs, brain-storming and rejecting every idea they gave me. Of course, that was coupled with some stern remarks about my eccentricity of this whole thing.

A few scheduled posts were a relief, but not for long!

I wanted to quit. Reading, writing, commenting apart from work, was too much to handle.

But a voice inside kept yelling, you can do it! Finish it off and I’ll pat your back later!

And today I couldn’t be any happier!

   Linking with A to Z Challenge 2016

Cheers
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I am participating in April A to Z Blogging Challenge and my theme for this year is Feelings and Emotions in 101 words. This year I'm also a supporter on co-host AJ’s team as wHooligans, along with Shilpa Garg, LuAnn Braley and Doreen McGettigan. Keep visiting, keep sharing and keep showing the love in the comments box ;)

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Y- Youthful

At an event crowded with women, a young lass caught my attention. Tall, slender, short hair. She was wearing a grey knee length pencil fit skirt, flaunting her curves, teamed with a black blouse and a pair of black stilettos.

Her age nothing beyond 25, thought other women and found her right for their brats, the men there... had ideas of proposing her.

And there she was, walking on the dice with the perfect gait.

In no time, while sharing her struggles about being a woman, she declared her details. 40 and a mother of twins... well, the rest wasn’t needed!!

 Linking with A to Z Challenge 2016

Cheers
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I am participating in April A to Z Blogging Challenge and my theme for this year is Feelings and Emotions in 101 words. This year I'm also a supporter on co-host AJ’s team as wHooligans, along with Shilpa Garg, LuAnn Braley and Doreen McGettigan. Keep visiting, keep sharing and keep showing the love in the comments box ;)

Read More