I held
my cup of coffee, picked up the novel, played my favourite music
or to say his favourite music,
and sat by the window, lost in his thoughts.
My heart
was pounding at a rate higher than usual, leaving me perplexed. And I
wasn’t understanding the cause of this uneasiness since morning.
A
nice walk would ease the feeling, I thought to myself.
Soon, I
picked the keys, grabbed the umbrella and opened the door and witnessed the
sight that nearly took my breath away! It was him… Standing right in front of
me!
Drenched.
Both of
us were. He with rains and I in his love.
***
Linking with
#FridayFotoFiction with Mayuri and Tina.
It was during the second year of my four year course when things started to change. Being a localite, I had the advantage of knowing the city better along with my personal vehicle to move around places. As I was a geek in college, all I cared for was marks... Yes, they mattered a lot to me. And I did everything I could to score well in my exams.
Due to this, I got a little popular amongst the 400 students in the whole batch. It was when my technical skills got into the limelight, a lot of students started approaching me. In that lot, there was a guy named, Sachin who came here from another city and didn’t know anyone. He had a different background and thus wasn’t really strong in his subjects. He was the first guy who genuinely approached me for studies and according to him, I was the first girl who said yes to teaching him things and help him through.
We clicked in one instant became best friends in college. As he didn’t know anything in the city, I took him to a lot of places. Places that became our favorite spots for a hangout. Time flew and we got closer. But it was only a good friendship that we shared.
One fine evening, we were invited to a friend’s birthday party which was organized in a club. We went there, had a few drinks, ate good food and danced! With each other... a lot! Our bodies were grooving just right on the music beats and we were completely in rhythm with each other. Everyone felt there was something going on between us then (but actually nothing was going on)!
We only shared a good chemistry.
Both of us headed to a friend’s place for the sleepover, where everyone reached and slept (given the number of drinks everyone had). We too were drunk but were totally in our senses. We just lay on the bed where we found some space. There were other two friends who were lying on the same bed but we didn’t care and decided to doze off.
In reality, none of us sleep that night. Sure, we wanted to, but couldn’t. Call it the effect of the alcohol or whatever, but I was tipsy and he was calmer than usual. Just when I pushed myself into the sleeping mode, I felt something, underneath my dress! I instantly stopped it and later realized it was Sachin’s hand! I had goosebumps all over my body and he just wanted to take his hands inside more. I knew I had to put a stop to it and I tried... a lot! But couldn’t control him... or let’s just say, resist him!
His hand gave me that electric current that I had never felt in my life, ever! He knew I was liking it and so moved his hands more, first on my neck, then on my hands, moving to my stomach and then above it. He was trying to undo my bra but couldn’t! Obviously, he was a naive boy. The first thought that crossed my mind was, we’re just friends! We’re not even committed! How can we do this? But my body had no intentions listening to my mind. I just wanted to be in his arms. He touched me... and kissed my lips and it was magical. I knew it wasn't love and yet I didn’t want him to stop!
We kissed and kissed some more! Our tongues were dancing with each other when we sealed our lips together. He wanted to do more... I wanted to do more but we had other people around us! The night passed touching each other at places unexplored!
The following day, it felt different to both of us. We knew it was the effect of last night. But with morning, came the reality. We weren’t committed and what we had last night wasn’t what friends do.
We discussed this and decided to keep ourselves in limits and maintain the friendship we had. But the fact was our friendship had been effectively ruined that night.
We couldn’t resist for even a week and decided to continue our incomplete affair. And we booked a hotel for the same. Getting in the hotel wasn’t a problem. I had friends in the city and it wasn’t a task.
From that day on, our rendezvous became a regular affair. We went to the hotel every fortnight and gave our bodies that much-needed pleasure. Sure, I started having more affection for him and he became a bit possessive for me. We knew we liked each other a lot, but none of us wanted to put a label to what we were having. Maybe we were scared of losing it once we put it in a label. I didn’t want to risk that. Nor did he.
We knew we were more than friends but less than lovers. Maybe we were Friends With Benefits! At some points, when I flirted with other boys or simply hang out with them, he would get jealous. He never said a word, yet his eyes said it all. And I kind of liked this arrangement. There were no strings attached. And yet some invisible strings were tying us together.
With college, our affair ended as well. But during this while, neither did he nor did I found anyone else. After changing cities, we almost lost touch with each other.
And today, when I look back I feel just fine. Because there weren’t any strings attached, right?
Imagine a girl. Beautiful, brown
girl with brown eyes, short but looks mature and has long hair. You can see the
dark brown color on her hands... its
henna (mehndi)!
You find it peculiar because the hands are full... from fists till beyond
elbows! But it looks pretty. You like the ornaments she’s wearing. You notice
the red lips and the pink cheeks and the kohl in her eyes! Her fingers are full
of rings and hands with bangles. You notice the red vermillion neatly applied
in her hair and then you finally fathom the reason behind her radiant smile!
She looks happy and that makes you happy!
You give her countless blessings
and wish her a happy life ahead!
Now, take another instance,
imagine all of the above with the girl’s age as only 17! You’re suddenly bombarded
with questions in your head. Happiness is all gone now and you’re wondering
about her future! And she’s not even educated, doesn’t earn much and in a year
or two, she’ll be having a baby in her hands! Why in the world did she do all
this? Couldn’t she wait, a little?
Well, here’s a clearer picture
now. The girl mentioned above is your maid’s daughter and she’s had everything but
childhood! All she’d done her life is visit huge mansions where her mother
worked, cleaned their homes, cooked them food, watered their garden, take care
of their children at the time when she herself was a child!
What about the school you wonder? They were a large family and
obviously they couldn’t afford.
And she doesn’t mind anything
about it because that’s what she’s seen around her. Her elder sisters,
brothers, mother... everyone worked in houses and made their living. She too
was doing the same.
In her family, marriage happened
a little early to some stranger, with whom they spend the rest of their life,
in exchange for being raped and beaten all night after he comes home drunk and
doesn’t give a penny to spend! At least
that is what she saw around her.
It will be the same for her as
well, just like her mother and sisters!
Between cleaning houses from morning till
evening, one fine day she met a boy and fell in love with him. The boy worked
in a factory and made decent money. He loved her a lot and wanted to marry her.
She knew there were going to be issues about their marriage in the family, but
she was ready to fight for her love! It’s
better than being married to a stranger who wouldn’t treat me nice, let alone
love me, she thought to herself.
She kept the boy’s proposal to
her family and the family agreed! The boy’s family didn’t demand a dowry. And
there she was... the happily married girl
who had come to seek the blessings of the aunties for whom she’d worked all
life.
What she realized was everyone gave her advice to work and study but no one
was ready to actually help her out. No one would be willing to take that extra
step that would make a better future for her. Sure they were right, and she was
too young to tie the knot, but then at the end of the day, she was with the man who loved her and had great respect for
her.
And guess what, he even wanted her
to study after marriage! She couldn’t be any happier!
Do you think happiness is all
that matters? Or should one follow the social norms and do things the way
they’re done?
P.S: The boy, with whom she got
married, was only 18! And he is young, married and Happy!
Cheers
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This A to Z Challenge, season I’m going to give you a ride and take you to all the places untouched! My themethis year is ‘Let’s see the other Side’, where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.
One thing that really moved me in a long time is the conversation I had with a really close friend of mine. We talk about almost everything going on in our lives... love, sex, kids, family, friends,
enemies... everything!
There are certain things you learn from time to time and yet there are truths that hit you in your face like nothing else.
|There are things that smash you down and leave you broken. There are conversations that take away every bit of peace and sanity in you, leaving you behind absolutely numb.
Building brick by brick, one tries to make their relationship/marriage into a less miserable one but when they learn the truth, all they feel is, it was all utter waste. Waste of time, waste of energy, waste of efforts, and a waste of every single ounce of pain that you take for your relationship.
At the end of the day, when you learn that there is no significant difference between you and that yapping lady next door who is always, mind you always, is on her toes to eat her husbands’ head for every petty thing in her life and you, on the other hand, control the strongest desire of yours to talk about things that worry you and wait for the right time to discuss, or try to understand the frame of mind of your partner and then mould yourself accordingly, or after waiting for like a billion years, when you finally say for things you want to experience and yet after all this while, all you earn for yourself is the title of that yapping woman... it does nothing but shatters you completely!
How do you make peace? How do you accept all of this and go ahead? Sure, a glass of wine would help ease the pain, but that is all temporary. What about permanent solutions? But then I feel, we live in a time where nothing is actually permanent in life and that, my friend, is the sad reality!
After a few years of togetherness, you find out that nothing ever is going to change! Things will remain the way they are or worse, they may take a backseat as well! The storm that has hit your lives decide to never leave you!
Are you willing to take it forward and live with this truth? What would you do in such a situation? If you’re in a relationship, sure you can break-up, but what do you do in a marriage? Leave your partner, saying what, you have compatibility issues? In a society where the ideal marriage means having the arrangement of having the perfect house,perfect car, perfect in-laws or the perfect ‘wealth’ to fulfill all your desires and yet the biggest quotient of ‘love’ is absent, what do you do? Do you walk out of that arrangement? Or do you have an extra-marital affair or do you wait for that forlorn day when you will have love by your side? What really should one do in a situation like this?
What you feel is the ray of hope in a darkness like this which is barely seen or observed?
I was in a rush. I had to take the class and I was late already. And I hate that. I don’t like being late. But that day was different. After finishing the chores, I was all set to rush for my class and there he was, my husband, standing in the way, asking me not to go.
‘You know we have to be there in an hour’
‘And you know I have a class. I can’t miss that’
‘But that function is important. You know we can’t afford to miss that one’
‘And you know there are students waiting. I can’t cancel at this moment’
‘But you won’t be free early. How long will you take to get free?’
‘After class, I have to visit the doc. That pain on my ankle is really creating a problem. I can’t bear with it anymore. And then I’ll have to buy some medicines prescribed by the doctor. It will take time’
‘Can’t you visit the doctor, tomorrow?’
‘Are you kidding me? You’ve been with me and witnessed all the sleepless nights of agony! How can you even ask me this? I have to go today.’
‘I know it’s serious, but that is also important’
‘And this, is this not important enough for you? Instead of taking me to the doctor, you are asking me to cancel it? You know how difficult it is to get Doc. S’s appointment. I’ve been waiting for weeks and finally, I've got one! And you want me to let it go?! Sorry, Mister. Not possible’
‘Fine! Do what you want! I’ll go alone... without you!’, exclaimed A.
‘Fine!!’, as I rammed the door and left.
I was furious at that moment. In spite of understanding and being with me at the moment, he’s mad about the fact that I’m not coming with him!
Visiting a doctor is a hassle. Sure I have the appointment but the patients have to wait for hours to have their turn. It sometimes really is a test of my patience levels.
I took the class and visited the doctor. A few tests and few medicines and I was set to go home after spending 4 hours in this entire process.
I was exhausted. And angry at him. And my phone was vibrating. It was him. Why is he calling now?
‘Where are you?’
‘I’m home. What happened?’
‘Did you go to the doctor?’
‘Yes’, of course, I did. Why else does he think we were having that argument?
‘What did he say?’, as if he cares?!
‘Nothing. He has asked to get the x-ray done. I’ve got it done. Bought the medicines as well. It’s a sprain. Nothing major’
‘Oo.. okay. Everyone was asking for you here. I told them you’ll be able to come in a while. But I think you should stay at home. Take rest. That is more important. This, I’ll handle.’
‘Are you sure?’, I’m sure he’s kidding. I know how important these functions are for him!
‘Ya... ya... I’ll be home in a while. See you then. Bye’
‘Bye’
And so effortlessly, my anger was gone. One single phone call from him that says he cares had melted my heart away. There was so much of warmth in that minute long call. And just like this, I was spilled in love, all over again!
And guess what, he was home early and sat by me all evening. Now, this is what I call happiness.
Tell me what melts your heart away? Tell me about your moments of joy filled with all the warmth and love.
Haiku is a traditional form of a
Japanese poetry that consists of 3 lines, following a 5-7-5 syllable rule
(first and third line 5 syllables, middle line 7 syllables). They don’t
necessarily have to rhyme.
Haiku is a traditional form of a Japanese poetry that consists of 3 lines, following a 5-7-5 syllable rule (first and third line 5 syllables, middle line 7 syllables). They don’t necessarily have to rhyme.
‘Why guess? Should you know it? And if you don’t then ask her. You’re her best friend.
She’ll share with you what’s in her heart’
‘Did she say she loves you?’
‘Not really! But when I say to her, she
smiles and gives me a shy look with a twinkle
in her eyes! I get the message’
‘Eyes deceive. Smile deceive’
‘Then ask her... Please!’
He
continued to love her, and she decided to keep things the way they were. Keep him
in the darkness like this and continue her affair with the other guy!
2. Go to your mom’s place or any relative’s place you have in town and come back at an unusual time... Late!
3. Go shopping. Not that you don’t shop when he’s in town, but roaming on the streets for no reason feels like spinster again :D
4. Invite your girls over and spend the day chit-chatting.
5. Turn off the TV. Forever. And feel the joy!
6. Play loud music in the room.. to an extent that neighbours’ eardrums are ready to burst.
7. Sleep on the bed with your laptop, books, phone, fritters and what not! (without worrying about cleaning it all up)
8. Be a mess
9. Late night phone conversation with your bestie without the fear of raising your voice.
10. Munching all the junk, as it already becomes #National Cooking Holiday Day :D :P
P.S: As much happy as I sound regarding my husband’s absence, I equally love him and miss him at the same time. I know it sounds weird but that is how it is.
I dance with joy once he's home ;)
No matter how much I enjoy without him, but I always want him around J
Tell me what do you do when your husband is not around? Anything that I can add to my list? :P
I know you know by now he’s not home right now :P
Linking with Half Marathon Blogging Challenge withBlogchatter. Today is Day 4 of the challenge.
Sometimes I wonder what is it that makes a person cross the boundaries in the name of love, without even realizing what they're doing?
Sure they say, all is fair in love and war. It makes a teenager run miles in the sun just to get the glimpse of their beloved, it makes a man come home early to have dinner with his wife, it makes woman spread and shower endless love on her boyfriend by understanding and always ready to make him smile and smile along with him, it makes a woman fight the world for the sake of her man, it makes the man feel happy simply by having his woman by his side forever!
Amidst all these feelings and emotions, who defines what is right and what is wrong? When people love someone truly, they do things they never thought were capable of doing. Younger ones lies to their parents for their lovers, to buy gifts, to top up their phone recharge, to travel and visit them if at all in long distance, of course this happens when they're not earning. But what about the ones who're earning? Don't they lie for the sake of love? Of course they do! A man truly in love with a girl makes thousands of efforts to spend time with his married girlfriend. And the woman, decides to stay married but couldn't resist the idea of staying in touch with her ex. Is this wrong? Yes, we do term it wrong!
But whose fault is it? The ex, who just loved and only loved and couldn't marry her then coz he wasn't financially sound? Or the girl who tried her best to stay loyal to her marriage but eventually turns to her old first love coz her husband wouldn't just give in, or the husband, who thought his responsibility was to make good love in the night and give good money in the day to spend. What about romance? What about passion? What about spark? Does marriage kills it all? Is this what the reality check is all about?
An urge to hear a simple romantic line in the middle of the night from your husband is too much to ask? Expecting a compliment from your wife coz you wore a new shirt isn't too much, but it sure loses it's charm coz the couple stays together and has got past of it all. Had it been the courtship or had he been her boyfriend, wouldn't he say a thousand romantic lines waking up all night? And wouldn't she randomly throw umpteen compliments and pull his leg all the while? But suddenly it becomes a pain, why?
What is right and what is wrong, who is the one who decides it? People define labels as per their convenience, as per their comfort levels and as per them lying in those labels.
Has love become a mirage of what it used to be?
In a world, where everything is a sham, why not just put yourself out there and accept the love you're getting from whichever source, as long as it makes you happy!
Not everybody thinks the way this article does, but that's not a problem right? What's your take on love? Or right or wrong? Put it all here and I'd be more than happy to hear them all...
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