Are you the Change?

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” is one quote that resonates with me like none other.

I remember I was a child when I read this, not sure where but it caught my attention and made so much sense. While growing up, I could see the flaws in our society, especially for the girls and it always remained in my heart. What also remained was the desire to bring the change.

There was a time when I was really adamant at making things right around me, prevent things which couldn’t be justified and wanted everyone to change according to my thought process. And I failed... miserably!

It felt like the moment of truth... I realized it is so much simpler to make kids understand things and tell them what is right or wrong. It’s also easier to make them admit their mistake but at the same time, it becomes quite a task when we talk about adults. Everyone thinks they’re right... even if they aren’t they wouldn’t accept that because they think it will make them small in front of the world.

Even if people are ready to accept their mistakes they hardly want to change. Call it their habit or sheer laziness or pure ignorance but they like the system they’re adapted to and don’t want to come out of their comfort zone. And that is why change is so much resisted.

Everyone has a problem with the system yet no one wants to make the first move. Everyone wants to live their lives on their own terms and yet no one comes out publicly and eventually becomes part of the so-called society!

Everyone wants to be a part of the cattle gait and shoo away even the thought of doing things which might sound quirky or bizarre to the society.

It was never easy... to change things around and so I changed myself. I always opted for non-conventional options and wanted to do something that doesn’t follow the typical societal norm.

I did not like the conservatism around me and I became a liberal. I believe if someone wants to do something (which may not follow the usual path) then it is totally up to them to decide, it is simply their prerogative to make a choice of what they want to do with their lives and head forward... It is not our business. Period. And that is the reason why I never question/judge anyone’s decision for that matter. I totally get it if people do things for the way they do.

Source

Also, when I face difficult situations, deep in my heart, I always wish if someone understood me better and that is the reason why I try to be the person who understands people in spite of all the odds against them. I always try to empathize with them and make an effort to do my bit... because I believe the rest shall automatically follow.

Change starts with us... within us... through us... by us... for us!

And it is not just about the thoughts and stuff, it is also about doing your part... simple acts like not wasting water, electricity etc, not loitering around, being kind to others and countless things that we do in our daily lives. This bit by bit would bring a huge change, I sense!

As Dalai Lama quotes, ‘If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

Tell me which is that one quote that moves you and you live by it? Tell me about the quote that shapes you, that you breathe through day and night?

Cheers 

This post has been selected as the WOW entry by Blogadda.

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U- Understand

One fine day, just when I was about to leave after my lecture from the center, a student came rushing to me. I could see her wary eyes and knew that she wanted to talk about something. As the exams were approaching, I thought it must be the stress of the syllabus. I allowed her to speak her mind and be all ears to her. What I learned next literally moved me, to the extent that I still think of her sometimes.

This girl, let’s call her Kavya, was 21 and lived with her parents. A confident, vibrant and an extremely hardworking girl she was in my class. She never understood anything at once but she never left the class without understanding her concepts. That is what I loved about her. But in spite of all the efforts, she was never able to score well in her tests and it was that day when I learned why!

First, she asked me about how to go about with her syllabus and the number of hours she needs to give in a day. I suggested her a few ways that she could follow in her routine like keeping away all the distractions while studying (phones, gadgets, etc), making a short doable timetable and following it religiously, keeping short breaks in between and let her mind get back with all the energy. But then I learned that she didn’t have a personal room to herself where she could sit and study peacefully. She stayed in a joint family and it always seemed like a party affair in the house 24*7. But what I couldn’t understand was that if there is a child or a student in the house, how could someone not let them study and give some peace?

Source

Talking to her further, I found out about her past. Kavya was a married girl. She married a guy she loved at the age of 18. Yes! She was only 18 when she eloped with the boy. The boy was a good guy who belonged to a good family and earned fairly well. The moment Kavya left her house; her family abandoned her and refused to keep any relations with her.

But destiny had some other plans for her! It was only after a month of her marriage, she lost her husband in a road accident! Devastated, as she was, bearing it all alone, just at the age of 18! Her in-laws blamed her stars for everything that happened with their son and asked her to leave the house. Her family wasn’t very happy with what happened and took her (because they were not left with any choice). And since then, all they have been doing to her is say cuss words, disrespect her in every way and treat her like a piece of garbage... they believed that the girl was good for nothing and couldn't do anything with her life. Kavya was any way guilty of everything that happened in her life, and that is why didn't say much to her family.

She wanted to study but no one supported her. She had no source of income and so she decided to take tuition classes for pre-primary students in order to have something in her hand. Her evenings went away teaching the little kids and later evenings went off making dinner for herself. No one in the house fed her. She made her own breakfast, lunch, and dinner and did other household stuff. Doing it all didn’t leave her much time to study. With the money she collected, she paid the coaching class fee and then later the book fees, all with her own money. Not a single soul in the family was either happy or supportive of anything. But she was determined to do something. She accepted her mistakes but it wasn’t her fault if her husband died!

Her family said that it was her karma because of which all of this happened in her life and that, it was meant to happen that way, that she can’t do anything fruitful with her life and is simply a waste in the house!

She always kept quiet and thought of giving an answer with her results. Sadly, she didn’t pass. And then she decided to give it another shot.

When I heard her, I was left speechless. I felt helpless! I gave her a hug! It was that day when I felt so strongly about anything in a long time. I agree, she shouldn’t have run away from the house. It was totally wrong on her part but her husband dying wasn’t her fault! She realized her mistake and was beyond sorry for that. Why was it so difficult for the parents to forgive her? Why is it so hard to understand their daughter, just for once! What’s done is done and no one can do anything about it. 

Source

What they can do is punish her if it gives them peace and move on! The girl feels miserable and just expects a little bit of understanding from her parents.

Today, she is working on other exams and is still struggling to earn that respect that she lost years ago! Do you think she deserves another chance?

Cheers

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Welcome to my Blog! This A to Z Challenge, my theme is ‘Let’s see the other Side’. Through this theme, I'm trying to giving voice lot of things that go around us and yet I can't do much to bring about the change. I feel, sharing my thoughts in my space here will somewhere make someone think and bring about the change we all want to see!
where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.

Feel free to express your thoughts and I'd be all ears!

I hope you have a great time here! 

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J- Judgemental

A couple of days back, I went for an event in the distant family. It was a ceremony conducted to thank God for the new boy their family had been blessed with. Everyone looked happy. So many happy faces and such joy around never fail to lighten up my spirit. But the thing is it didn’t last for a long time.

I met a lot of people with whom I generally don’t get to meet much. But there was someone at the ceremony that everyone was discussing, and I was intrigued to find out whom.

It was a girl in a dress.

It wasn’t just the dress, it was the tight fitted dress and the girl wasn’t... umm... slim let’s say. Well, that’s not it. She had short hair, all colored in golden, loud makeup and the rings on in her hands were more than her fingers, she had her nose, chin and brows pierced and had a huge tattoo on her arm and on the lower neck... you got the picture? Now did you get why she caught everyone’s attention?

So when you know why there was so much attention, you would obviously know the number of judgments that followed! Conversations like, who is she? Who are her parents? Don’t they say anything to her? I’m sure she’s way too forward! And I’m sure she must be on drugs! Such girls are the ones who’re spoiling our culture and the entire generation! And let me not get started with her character!...

While all the aunties gave her a smug look, all the uncles were having a good time watching her ass! 

They loved having such sights at events... at least there was something stored in for them in the holy ceremony!

Apparently, I knew that girl personally. And she wasn’t a bit these women were talking about! Such a light hearted person who never forgets to carry her radiant smile wherever she goes! She knows what people talk about her but she doesn’t care. She knows they will talk anyway and that’s why she chose to live the way she likes.

But the sad thing is, no one knows that she lost her mom last month! And she is battling a war inside her! No one knows the number of tears she sheds in a day and that’s the reason why she wears so much of makeup.

Her mom always taught her to live on her own terms, to do what she liked no matter what the world says or what the society demands, to dress up because this is something that she got from her mom, to look her best no matter where she is heading and every time she pulled the perfect eyeliner, no one would feel as happy as her mom, they were more like friends! And one fine day, she lost her... to 

cancer!

During her last days, one thing she made her girl promise was to never look sad when out of the house, to always leave the house as if she’s going to walk on a ramp, to never let any power in the world stop her from decorating herself, because that’s what she loved doing!

And that’s what she did! It raised a lot of eyebrows everywhere she went but in the end, it made her mom smile and that is what mattered to her!

Cheers

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This A to Z Challenge, season I’m going to give you a ride and take you to all the places untouched! My theme this year is ‘Let’s see the other Side’, where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.

Stay tuned to find out what's more in store!

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G- Grow Up

You know how much there is pressure in our society for boys to earn well and be a responsible son. Sure, times have changed a lot and girls are equally working today. But the pressure to work on a girl is nowhere close to how it is with boys. With girls, the pressure is more about getting married, doesn’t matter how many zeroes you have in your paycheck!

But what one can one do if he’s not able to do anything it all? Done with school- check, done with graduation-check, done with PG-check, now started working? Still a question mark!

With the pressure to do more and more, sometimes the boys too tend to break down and no matter how much they try; they’re not able to do anything. And by anything, I literally mean anything.

All his friends are working and he isn’t. Something triggers in his mind but he doesn’t realize. Father is asking him to do a course so that he can help with his business and he’s not interested. Father is asking him if he wants to study further, still nothing, the mother tries to find out what’s going on but nothing fruitful comes out! The result, the child/boy stops going out with friends, family, for movies and does nothing!

Parents are angry and worried at the same time. The society keeps on asking, what your son is doing, where is he working, is he done with his education, what kind of work is he interested in and on and on and on. Actually, the endless questions that society throws at people are what worry the family beyond anything else!

Maybe the boy is suffering from depression. But who will identify that? And then visiting a psychiatrist is still considered a taboo! What if anyone finds out? Everyone will think their son has gone mad and is getting treated! And in the midst of it, it the boy who is suffering every day of his life. Having no one by his side, no one who could understand the turmoil he is going through, not a single soul to talk his woes! Everybody just wants him to grow up, take up the responsibilities and start behaving like an adult! Nobody would let him be, and make him succumb to the norms that society has created! Nobody would be ready to accept the fact that an adult man is sitting in the house, doing nothing!

Source

When will we as a society come out of it? When will we accept everyone around us and stop thinking about what others will think? When will we fight monsters like depression if we ourselves consider it something bad?

So many people are trying to change things around by being more open about it, by asking them to seek help, that there is no harm in getting it treated by a professional, that there so many NGO’s trying to fight for it, that the stigma that you think is attached is only in your head and nowhere else!

As much as we try, it will take a lot of years to clean up this air in the society, I feel!

And yes, we shouldn’t be so hard on boys or men in our society!

Cheers

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Welcome to my Blog! I’m so happy to have you here! This A to Z Challenge, I’m going to give you a ride and take you to all the places untouched! My theme this year is ‘Let’s see the other Side’, where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.

I'd love to hear your thoughts!                                      

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B- Beautiful Bride

Once there lived a handsome boy in the city who was the only son of Mr and Mrs Mehta. The boy came from a rich background and beautiful parents. Soon there was a hunt for a bride for the boy. And not just any bride, but a beautiful bride to suit the family image!

As the boy was getting older every year, the number of suitable girls who would match the family status was going down. And this really worried Mr Mehta! He didn’t have any demands, no dowry, no questions about the qualifications... all they wanted was a beautiful, homely, not-so-ambitious girl... to suit their conservative family needs!

The boy didn’t have much of an opinion. He was happy with what his parents had decided for him.

5 years passed, and still no girl for their handsome son. One was too educated, the other wanted to pursue her career post marriage, one wasn’t fair enough, one had short hair, one was too healthy, the other was too skinny, one had a long nose and the list continued!

Finally, the search was over and they found the perfect match for their son from a small town... tall, fair, timid, beautiful, slim and homely­, the one who would fit in their criteria.

Marriage happened and the girl was welcomed with full pomp and show. It was a big wedding. All the relatives were touting about the beautiful bride. People were literally in awe of her beauty. And this made Mehta’s very happy!

Source

But things don’t always remain fair and square. As time passed, the family got over with her beauty and started pestering for her not-so-fluent English, her grooming, her dressing sense, etc etc. No doubt, she was the perfect homemaker, perfect daughter-in-law and perfect wife! But this wasn’t enough for the Mehtas!

They wanted her to represent the family in a sophisticated way and she did try as well but failed them every time. They started lecturing her on the way she should carry herself and speak in public. She felt really embarrassed and... ashamed! She failed to fathom because that is how she was and that is what the family liked about her... and now it seems all wrong! What was she doing wrong? She was trying her best but couldn’t make them happy! And hence, she couldn’t be happy either!

Whose fault was it? The girl who was pure as white, and perfect in every aspect one could ask for? Sure she was qualified, but didn’t have much command in English!

So what is the big deal about it? Had the family gone for the English speaking or the too much educated one, they wouldn’t want her to go for a job!

I pity them! And there are so many others like them of which we can’t really do anything! All I feel is blessed for not being married in such a family! But in some corner of my heart, I feel sad as well for that girl, who is best in every way and yet must be going through some esteem issues!

What is your take on it? Do you only go by the external beauty when it comes to marriages? Tell me about it all here!

Cheers

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Welcome to my Blog! This A to Z Challenge season I’m going to give you a ride and take you to all the places untouched! My theme this year is ‘Let’s see the other Side’, where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.

Stay tuned to find out what's more in store!

Read More

Cover

Cover your head dear

You are the lady of the house

Respect that fact please!

Linking with Haiku Horizons

Cheers

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Haiku is a traditional form of a Japanese poetry that consists of 3 lines, following a 5-7-5 syllable rule (first and third line 5 syllables, middle line 7 syllables). They don’t necessarily have to rhyme.

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