10 Things No One Knows About Me

There are certain things that everyone knows about us and then there are the ones which no one knows. People do think they know us in and out but only we know how much truth holds in that statement ;). And so, I decided to make a list of things about me which no one knows. I'm not sure if it's going to be fun but sure wanted to give it a try.

Go ahead and read them all.

1.   I am way too sensitive than anyone will ever know. Even the tiniest of things affect me and yes, I try too hard not to overthink think or expect anything, yet a thousand thoughts refuse to leave my head.

2.   People around me think they know everything about me but there is always something that they don’t know. And that something involves major details of my life :P. So if you think you know everything about me or know me too well, think again!

You think you know all my secrets, ha? :P

3.  My judgment often finds its way when it comes to giving suggestions to others and most of them turn out to be helpful as well. But at the same time, when it comes myself, all my sense of decisiveness goes to Mars I guess. I have no clue about what to do, how to do, should I do it or not and fail to discriminate between what is right and what is wrong. That’s the reason why I feel so miserable at times.

I'm mostly wrong about myself! (Rolling eyes)

4.  No matter how hard I try, I’m not able to market myself well be it about my work or things I do in my personal life. I am never able to show it off or portray about doing it. I strongly feel why do I have to flaunt it or boast it in front of people about the good thing that I did. People will learn about it anyway. I should focus on doing well. 

If only flaunting it off was as easy as flaunting a dress!

5.  I may look a confident, independent girl on the outside but deep down I’m just the opposite. And by opposite I mean, anything but these adjectives (or at least that is how my state of mind is at the moment).

Duh!

6.   People see me as someone who is always surrounded with friends and family, etc. and hence I always have someone to go to every time, (sure, I have people around) yet, I see myself as a lonely person.

That's how it is when I'm stuck with problems

7.  I’ve almost forgotten how to lie. I don’t know if it is a good thing or bad but whatever is there in my heart or whatever little knowledge I have I share it exactly the way it is. No twisting and turning. I’ve forgotten how to manipulate things. Again, wondering if it’s good or bad. Given the times we live in, I feel it’s mostly on the downside.

Yes! That's me at lying

8.  I strictly follow the tit-for-tat principle. I do things the way they are done to me. And I often fail to make the first move. *Rolling eyes*

Tit-for-Tat!

9.  Sometimes, what people think of me means everything to me. I know, it’s not right but that is how it gets so many times.

10.  There used to be a time when I was good at making friendships. People still think I am great with networking, but only I know how terrible I’ve become at making contacts and maintaining them.

Me at making contacts

I don’t know if I should be sharing it all here or not and I also, am aware of the risk of writing it here. But then I feel, this is my blog which is an image of myself and I’m sure all of us have our weaknesses. It's just I chose to write it down here.

And it took a great deal of time to come out with them and share it with everyone.

Care to share what no one knows about you? I’d be happy if you’re doing a post on it. Otherwise too, I’d be glad to know.

Cheers

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Y- Yearning

Source

‘Isn’t she everyone’s favorite?’

‘Yah... especially, the kids! They just love her!’

‘Love her? They adore her! Kids are literally crazy for her! She can get along with almost every kid around. All the mothers get so annoyed because their kids want to stay with her and this woman is always joyful around them. Kids don’t have their meals properly, but with her, it feels like magic. Kids obey her or rather, worship her!’

‘I know! And she spends a good time with them. It is not just with one kid, but every child she meets, she makes them hers. They play with her; want to spend time with her. Kids learn things pretty fast from her!’

‘Exactly! I try to teach my kid so many things but he never learns anything, and with her, everything she will say, he will follow without being cranky!’

‘I don’t know how she is able to do this?’

‘Sometimes, my heart wrenches to see her like this. Such a vibrant girl, full of life, free- spirited and above all, every child’s favorite... yet doesn’t have a child of her own! I’m sure it must break her heart every time she sees a newborn!’

‘I too think the same! She gets along with them so well and see the irony... she doesn’t have her own baby! Sometimes, God plays such unfair games’

‘The way she looks after all of them and the joy she feels in doing so is so special. It is seen in her eyes, how much she yearns for a child of her own! She’s so young... I wonder what the issue is. Why can’t she have her own babies?’

‘It’s sad to see her like this sometimes’

‘But what can we do about it? All we can do is let our children spend time with her. That is all’

‘I guess’

The above excerpt is how people see women without children. Someone married for a long time and is without a kid gives an automated assumption to the society that the woman can’t have kids or there is some medical issue with her and that is why she is without a child. Nobody cares to think that it may be her choice to not have kids. It may be her decision to be like this forever. And we must respect this! Sometimes, I feel why can’t one see a woman complete without a child? I know children are important but not everyone wants a child in life. Playing with kids, spending time with them, getting along well with them doesn’t necessarily has to mean that the woman wants one and can’t have one! The above story is of a similar woman I know who is extremely happy with her life and yet everyone thinks, she isn’t because she has said ‘no’ to motherhood!

Cheers

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J- Judgemental

A couple of days back, I went for an event in the distant family. It was a ceremony conducted to thank God for the new boy their family had been blessed with. Everyone looked happy. So many happy faces and such joy around never fail to lighten up my spirit. But the thing is it didn’t last for a long time.

I met a lot of people with whom I generally don’t get to meet much. But there was someone at the ceremony that everyone was discussing, and I was intrigued to find out whom.

It was a girl in a dress.

It wasn’t just the dress, it was the tight fitted dress and the girl wasn’t... umm... slim let’s say. Well, that’s not it. She had short hair, all colored in golden, loud makeup and the rings on in her hands were more than her fingers, she had her nose, chin and brows pierced and had a huge tattoo on her arm and on the lower neck... you got the picture? Now did you get why she caught everyone’s attention?

So when you know why there was so much attention, you would obviously know the number of judgments that followed! Conversations like, who is she? Who are her parents? Don’t they say anything to her? I’m sure she’s way too forward! And I’m sure she must be on drugs! Such girls are the ones who’re spoiling our culture and the entire generation! And let me not get started with her character!...

While all the aunties gave her a smug look, all the uncles were having a good time watching her ass! 

They loved having such sights at events... at least there was something stored in for them in the holy ceremony!

Apparently, I knew that girl personally. And she wasn’t a bit these women were talking about! Such a light hearted person who never forgets to carry her radiant smile wherever she goes! She knows what people talk about her but she doesn’t care. She knows they will talk anyway and that’s why she chose to live the way she likes.

But the sad thing is, no one knows that she lost her mom last month! And she is battling a war inside her! No one knows the number of tears she sheds in a day and that’s the reason why she wears so much of makeup.

Her mom always taught her to live on her own terms, to do what she liked no matter what the world says or what the society demands, to dress up because this is something that she got from her mom, to look her best no matter where she is heading and every time she pulled the perfect eyeliner, no one would feel as happy as her mom, they were more like friends! And one fine day, she lost her... to 

cancer!

During her last days, one thing she made her girl promise was to never look sad when out of the house, to always leave the house as if she’s going to walk on a ramp, to never let any power in the world stop her from decorating herself, because that’s what she loved doing!

And that’s what she did! It raised a lot of eyebrows everywhere she went but in the end, it made her mom smile and that is what mattered to her!

Cheers

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This A to Z Challenge, season I’m going to give you a ride and take you to all the places untouched! My theme this year is ‘Let’s see the other Side’, where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.

Stay tuned to find out what's more in store!

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Love quotient... is it still a Question?

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One thing that really moved me in a long time is the conversation I had with a really close friend of mine. We talk about almost everything going on in our lives... love, sex, kids, family, friends, enemies... everything!

There are certain things you learn from time to time and yet there are truths that hit you in your face like nothing else.

|There are things that smash you down and leave you broken. There are conversations that take away every bit of peace and sanity in you, leaving you behind absolutely numb.

Building brick by brick, one tries to make their relationship/marriage into a less miserable one but when they learn the truth, all they feel is, it was all utter waste. Waste of time, waste of energy, waste of efforts, and a waste of every single ounce of pain that you take for your relationship.

At the end of the day, when you learn that there is no significant difference between you and that yapping lady next door who is always, mind you always, is on her toes to eat her husbands’ head for every petty thing in her life and you, on the other hand, control the strongest desire of yours to talk about things that worry you and wait for the right time to discuss, or try to understand the frame of mind of your partner and then mould yourself accordingly, or after waiting for like a billion years, when you finally say for things you want to experience and yet after all this while, all you earn for yourself is the title of that yapping woman... it does nothing but shatters you completely!

How do you make peace? How do you accept all of this and go ahead? Sure, a glass of wine would help ease the pain, but that is all temporary. What about permanent solutions? But then I feel, we live in a time where nothing is actually permanent in life and that, my friend, is the sad reality!

After a few years of togetherness, you find out that nothing ever is going to change! Things will remain the way they are or worse, they may take a backseat as well! The storm that has hit your lives decide to never leave you! 

Are you willing to take it forward and live with this truth? What would you do in such a situation? If you’re in a relationship, sure you can break-up, but what do you do in a marriage? Leave your partner, saying what, you have compatibility issues? In a society where the ideal marriage means having the arrangement of having the perfect house, perfect car, perfect in-laws or the perfect ‘wealth’ to fulfill all your desires and yet the biggest quotient of ‘love’ is absent, what do you do? Do you walk out of that arrangement? Or do you have an extra-marital affair or do you wait for that forlorn day when you will have love by your side? What really should one do in a situation like this? 

What you feel is the ray of hope in a darkness like this which is barely seen or observed?

Cheers

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Bitter Sweet Life

The other day this thought crossed my mind. And it made me realise things change so fast around us and we don’t even notice. But when realisations strike, it obviously gets too late!

So many things change when we grow up. And we become the kinds we never thought we would. Our circle gets limited. We become less understanding and more judging. We give less and expect more. For every ounce of stuff done around us. We’re always surrounded by things neck deep that we barely get time for our loved ones. And so, we don’t call them either. Rather, wait for the other one to make an effort and if the other doesn’t, it becomes our birthright to blame them for being busy and not calling us or not making an effort.

Convenient, isn’t it?

From the times in the school, when sharing about your first crush, or first boyfriend or the many firsts, that used to be the highlight of the day, without which we wouldn’t be able to digest our food, and was the top priority to get it out somehow, to the times when we fight our scariest demon... all alone! And the worst part is we start hiding things. Coz of the fear of being judged, or probably to display that our life is perfect. That we know how to deal with stuff around us!

I don’t know what is it and more importantly, why it is like this!

Things change. Relationships change. Priorities change.

|Something that once seemed so evil becomes the only drug to keep you going.

I, for one, used to be the most caring person around. I used to think about others before myself. I still do. I used to be the one making calls on birthdays to wish the person not-so-special (I've stopped doing that), the one who was always ready to sacrifice and suffer, the one who’d never put herself before anyone else, the one who couldn’t live without her friends, the one whose yapping used to be her thing, the one who couldn’t resist sharing the minutest of details happening in her life. Sharing the particulars of the most silly things that can happen in one’s life, to obviously the ones that are truly worth sharing. And today, when I look at myself, I feel so different. Part of that person inside me has taken a slow death!

I barely text my friends, let alone call them. And I don’t even regret that. If someone calls, it’s fine by me. But that urge to take that extra effort, it doesn’t come. I’m still figuring why?

But the good part is during this process, the ones who are truly yours will always come to you and that makes you happy. Really happy.

Recently, I saw this word and it resonated with my state of mind so well that I want to share it here.

Yes, sometimes I feel Exhaustipated!

I don’t care about things and I feel okay about it! People, who know me well, know how strange it is for me to feel this way.

And this year, the resolution that truly is the highlight and the one I’m religiously working on, is to ‘Speak less’! Yes, you heard that! Loud and clear.

Not that I’m trying to change who I am, but trying to change certain habits that have been doing more harm than good! And no one is responsible for it, but me. Whenever I end up feeling bad, I realize it’s all because of me that I felt the way I did. I’m not blaming anyone, nor am I pointing fingers at anyone, all I’m saying is there are certainly things that I should change about myself, coz no one but me will be the one getting hurt the most!

And in between, I look forward to discovering more of myself. I’m sure it’s going to be worth it.

I think it’s enough for today. Tell me about yourself.

Have you ever done this? Tried to change something about yourself and the way it turned out to be? 

Was it good? Was it worth the try? Share with me all your wisdom and I am all ears here!

Does this post resonate with you? Let me know either way.

Cheers

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Caution- Danger Zone Ahead

O you look uncanny! You strange blue little thing! Who are you? Are you a sea animal? Fish? Mammal? Some other species may be? I like your skin though. This bright colour looks nice.. and the contrast lemon suits you just perfect. You like sleeping? Me too!  

But what are you doing here? Don’t you know there’s a lot of weird stuff around here! And have you ever heard of Humans, ever? Shh.. Don’t say that loud.. they might hear you and if they will hear you, they might find you, and then they will kill you! They never spare anyone. They never have! They will either capture you and keep you in prison, give you some food to eat. 

You must be thinking that that isn’t too bad, but that is what their trap is all about! They will torment you. Every single day. And will work on you, and do their experiments, drop so many harsh liquids, they will keep you in so many lights and see how you respond to it, till what level is your body able to cope up with the pain they will infuse in you. And if by any chance, they’re not able to do any good of you, they will keep you in a box and decorate their house with the light of your skin, flaunt you to the world, as if they own you and have every right to treat you the way they want!

Happy Reading 

Cheers

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