Of the Days gone by...

In these last few years, if I have realized learned one thing about myself is that I am NOT visionary! And I pay its price each time for not being one. And yet, I try each day, before each event, before every big day that takes place. No matter how much I plan beforehand, there is something or the other I miss. Seldom does it ever happen when everything is perfect.

Luckily, when my baby was born, I had everything I needed at the hospital (thanks to all the Youtube videos and family members). Those nine months were all about resting, laughing, eating hogging food and sleeping. I wasn’t doing anything per se (except making a baby, which is also a great deal), and thus I turned into this lazy person.

I remember hating to sleep coz it wastes time but these 9 months and the rest that followed later, plus that extra weight I gained on every part of my body, kind of stuck me to wherever I settled. Simple chores for me became huge tasks, moving around the house felt more like a burden and all I wanted to do was sit at one place and boss everyone around to give me my stuff, my food, my phone, my charger, everything. And all of this made me crankier. Also, the thought that my behavior would affect my baby literally ate me and thus I couldn’t act too much cranky, thus becoming even more frustrated.

One thing I noticed is hardly anyone talks about Post-Partum. The knowledge on this subject is rare and isn’t even much spoken about and thus I am going to write a post on this. Coz I need to more than I have to!

When I started writing this post, I had a few things in mind but because I/m writing after a long time, all the thoughts that crossed my mind one after the other took the form of words here. I’m sure you must have noticed this while reading it.

How has life been treating you guys? What new is going on? Any new news you want to share?

Hope to hear you out J

Cheers

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Drenched #FridayFotoFiction

It had been 12 long months since I had seen him.

And the rains weren’t making it any easier.

I held my cup of coffee, picked up the novel, played my favourite music or to say his favourite music, and sat by the window, lost in his thoughts. 

My heart was pounding at a rate higher than usual, leaving me perplexed. And I wasn’t understanding the cause of this uneasiness since morning. 

A nice walk would ease the feeling, I thought to myself. 

Soon, I picked the keys, grabbed the umbrella and opened the door and witnessed the sight that nearly took my breath away! It was him… Standing right in front of me!

Drenched.

Both of us were. He with rains and I in his love. 

***

Linking with #FridayFotoFiction with Mayuri and Tina.

Cheers

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Of random ranting and more…

Of late I’ve been battling with a lot of issues and anxiety that is going inside me. Earlier I blamed it on the time that I’m going through but as the time is passing, I’ve started to realize it is not the time that is to be blamed but me.

It is me because of which I’m unable to deal with things around me.

Since childhood, I’ve hardly been an angry person. I generally don’t take things too seriously and let go of a lot of things. Not because I want to, but because they don’t affect me that much and hence no anger. Yes, there were times when there have been blasts and now when I think of them, here are a few questions and answers that I come to.

Do I use to get angry? No.

Why? Because I used to speak most of the stuff that I felt. Whatever I had in my heart, it was out from my mouth to my friends and that is why all the friendships I’ve had were unstained. Because nothing is inside and everything is outside… crystal clear.

Sure, there were issues with my parents while growing up and that was because I wasn’t vocal about how I felt and hence the ability to not speak my heart out and keeping things inside me led to a lot of frustrations which I couldn’t address and hence the turmoil times.

I’ve always been a chirpy person and I can’t keep quiet for long. Even if I’ve been upset something, that phase didn’t last much because I always speak out to people around me and clear things up and I get back to being me.

But today, as I look back, a lot has changed. I have changed. I am not the same ‘geet’ anymore. I barely speak. I hardly crack jokes. I don’t like sharing too much. The spark that I had seems to fade away. The willingness to know things isn’t there. That care and concern for people around me don't bother me now. And to top it all up, I am more frustrated than ever! Because obviously, I don’t speak much, I don’t bring out my mind out!

Why you wonder? Because, one, I’m not working. And not working means not moving out of the house much and hence no change in the daily routine, no meeting of new people. 

Two, there isn’t anyone around with who I can share my woes and tell them how I feel from inside. Three, because of the self-esteem issues, anything that goes against what I think makes me even more vulnerable. It brings tears to my eyes and the frustration that builds up is at its peak because of the inability to bring out what I have inside, in turn making me more bitter, aggressive and a bit depressed at the same time.

Not speaking up piles a lot of things making it work like a venom on my tongue where without making any rational point, I simply blurt out the thing that pricks me the most.

Also, earlier, if not speaking, I used to write it all out but this time even that is not happening. I don’t feel like. Doing. Anything.

I’ve signed up for a project next month and I am not enthusiastic about it at all. I’m wondering how I will be able to meet up the deadlines and the expectations and hoo-haa that comes with it. I didn’t even feel like signing up for the other things that are in store for next month.

I am not liking the kind of person I am becoming day by day. And I think of the worst repercussions possible!

And what’s even more pathetic is I don’t seem to care. I just want to let it go. Give up. On everything. And run away. From everything. Where there is no one. Not a single soul I know. No contact whatsoever. And I am not in a position to do this. Of course, it’s neither the solution nor this is going to happen! Which makes me even sadder!

P.S: I’ve opened the Word on my laptop zillion time to come up with some creative writing… only to end up ranting about whatever is going on.

P.P.S: This hopefully might clear a bit of the air and I might come up with something better to write.

How has the past few months treated you? Share with me… who knows what may trigger and I might get some inspiration!

Cheers

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The Month that went by... #AtoZReflections

I sense relief within me with a little bit of heavy heart at the same time. The blog hopping, commenting, replying, sharing... it was a phase full of utter madness and it paid off! It always does! And it always leaves you with a sense of pride.

The month was all about managing my time better, the discipline that is required to carry it off and the lessons learned.

As the AtoZ fever was in the air when the year started by, I had made up my mind on participating for the third consecutive year. Though, I did not think anything beyond that.

As February went by, a dear friend was getting all paranoid about the theme and asked me about it at the same time and I was like, dude... it’s Feb! I have a whole month to think and plan and write...

What I did not realize was this month wouldn’t just pass but would run like an Olympic athlete!

Coming up with the theme:

As always, I was confused and finally went with my heart. There was a reason behind choosing the theme I chose.

It often happens when there are certain things that happen around me and I don’t really feel comfortable about it. I am not that articulate when it comes to keeping my perspective in a group (especially family) and that is when I feel the urge to put it somewhere, to show the other side, to think from another angle different from the way everyone has been seeing all their lives, that there is so much more beyond the stereotypes, that whatever everybody does is always for a reason and explaining all of that to a bunch of people who will never come to the point of agreement, it is kind of futile.

It was all these thoughts that inspired me to come up with this theme, where I thought of writing down everything that I think, follow and believe.

I often hear, what I talk is impractical (for example, my stand on divorced women or looking beyond looks for any marriage or having a baby or not is completely one’s choice and the likes), that all of it happens in books, television series or movies. In reality, it is much more complicated. I completely vouch for it being complicated but I also vouch for the fact that it exists, that things are changing around us and that we need to change ourselves if we want the change in our society.

A to Z feelings:

Expressing my thoughts this A to Z Challenge was beyond gratifying. It made me happy because I realized I wasn’t the only one who thinks this way. With like-minded bloggers, I got an immense support and motivation, not to mention wings to my thoughts and confidence to express them loud out there.

The Discipline that came with A to Z:

Initially, I had close to 18 posts scheduled (which is so not me!) and I was doing fine but as they were coming to an end, I was panicking because I was falling out of stories but eventually every day in the evening, I sat down and wrote the post for the next day and scheduled it and started with my blog hopping.

It was the first time I had scheduled these many posts and I was happy that I did. Writing every day became kind of a ritual that I would want to continue with. April is now over and this is just the second blog post this month but I am writing every day without fail. I hope to continue this way.

Lessons Learned:

What I understood this month is when we have a deadline coming up or a challenge that we take up, we make our minds continuously think and ponder over things; we push ourselves (beyond our limits) to the extent that we never do otherwise and feel surprised for the way we perform. I, for one, have countless thoughts in my mind which I feel like writing but I don’t. I just postpone (which I am expert at) and make an excuse to myself. I assume on my own that the topic is not worthy of being written or desirable enough to form a blog post.

But this time, even the slightest or tiniest of the idea took the shape of a complete blog post. It was kind of an eye-opener for me and I’d like to keep my eyes open now.

Contented with the numbers:

I’m not a number person. Yes, I do feel happy when I reach a certain benchmark but I don’t get finicky if I don’t have them. This year, during the A to Z, my blog entered the 6-digit figure and it felt contended and worthy of everything, worthy of investing time in my blog and the peace of mind that comes with it.

Readers Choice:

‘Arranged Marriage’ was one post that caught maximum attention with the highest number of views. Other posts that intrigued the readers and compelled them to think over were Beautiful Bride, Extra Marital Affair, Identity, Quit and Understand.

You can read all the posts here.

Verdict:

All in all, it was fun writing all month and I am happy that I survived!

A big Thank you to everyone who stopped by and encouraged me with their beautiful comments and thank you to the ones who did not stop by (it only pushed me more to improve my content).

So tell me, did you participate this year? How was it? What did you learn? Where did you struggle the most?

Cheers

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Y- Yearning

Source

‘Isn’t she everyone’s favorite?’

‘Yah... especially, the kids! They just love her!’

‘Love her? They adore her! Kids are literally crazy for her! She can get along with almost every kid around. All the mothers get so annoyed because their kids want to stay with her and this woman is always joyful around them. Kids don’t have their meals properly, but with her, it feels like magic. Kids obey her or rather, worship her!’

‘I know! And she spends a good time with them. It is not just with one kid, but every child she meets, she makes them hers. They play with her; want to spend time with her. Kids learn things pretty fast from her!’

‘Exactly! I try to teach my kid so many things but he never learns anything, and with her, everything she will say, he will follow without being cranky!’

‘I don’t know how she is able to do this?’

‘Sometimes, my heart wrenches to see her like this. Such a vibrant girl, full of life, free- spirited and above all, every child’s favorite... yet doesn’t have a child of her own! I’m sure it must break her heart every time she sees a newborn!’

‘I too think the same! She gets along with them so well and see the irony... she doesn’t have her own baby! Sometimes, God plays such unfair games’

‘The way she looks after all of them and the joy she feels in doing so is so special. It is seen in her eyes, how much she yearns for a child of her own! She’s so young... I wonder what the issue is. Why can’t she have her own babies?’

‘It’s sad to see her like this sometimes’

‘But what can we do about it? All we can do is let our children spend time with her. That is all’

‘I guess’

The above excerpt is how people see women without children. Someone married for a long time and is without a kid gives an automated assumption to the society that the woman can’t have kids or there is some medical issue with her and that is why she is without a child. Nobody cares to think that it may be her choice to not have kids. It may be her decision to be like this forever. And we must respect this! Sometimes, I feel why can’t one see a woman complete without a child? I know children are important but not everyone wants a child in life. Playing with kids, spending time with them, getting along well with them doesn’t necessarily has to mean that the woman wants one and can’t have one! The above story is of a similar woman I know who is extremely happy with her life and yet everyone thinks, she isn’t because she has said ‘no’ to motherhood!

Cheers

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L- Lonely

Welcome to my Blog! I’m so happy to have you here! This A to Z Challenge, I’m going to give you a ride and take you to all the places untouched! My theme this year is ‘Let’s see the other Side’, where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.

Feel free to express your thoughts and I'd be all ears!

I hope you have a great time here!

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After getting married and visiting a number of houses ample enough to draw conclusions, one thing I find peculiar is the proximity that the lady of the house shares with the house staff or maid.

Sure there are daily tidbits involved, the daily cat fight kind of scenario as well but other times there are moments when the men of the house leave for work and children are busy with their work/college/school or activities and that’s when the lady of the house is left alone. Also, here I'm referring to the ones who're in their late 40's or 50's or more than that. Of course, the younger generation has multiple options to while away their time. 

Now, standing on one toe and doing the house chores solely, sure makes the day exhausting for her. And in the midst of this, when she finds solace in talking to the only person available in the giant house, someone who is all ears to her and is willing to give that patient ear, hearing all the family woes, not to mention her companion who gives her the news or the gossip of the society, by adding some spice to it, making her day a bit spicy is none other than her house maid!

Often, the kids or the men of the house find it strange and don’t really understand what pleasure does one derive by having a futile, not-so-productive, completely baseless conversation with someone they refuse to sit next to their side?!

Source

While their thought process isn’t really wrong, but the fact is, man is a social animal. Men go out and have a work life, women who’re working have a regular change in environment too where you get some free time from the daily dal-chawal conversations but the ones who stay at home... their only pastime or the thing they really look forward to is their personal BBC news channel, who would cook up stories and report about the various activities going on around her! They find it the only way to deal with the loneliness that creeps in the house once they’re all alone!

Do we ever look beyond this? Or just simply lampoon the ones indulging in it?

I don’t stay home much but I do get what they go through. And I never question them. All it needs is a bit of kindness from our side and they will feel much better about it!

Don’t you think so? Tell me what’s your take on it?

Cheers

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G- Grow Up

You know how much there is pressure in our society for boys to earn well and be a responsible son. Sure, times have changed a lot and girls are equally working today. But the pressure to work on a girl is nowhere close to how it is with boys. With girls, the pressure is more about getting married, doesn’t matter how many zeroes you have in your paycheck!

But what one can one do if he’s not able to do anything it all? Done with school- check, done with graduation-check, done with PG-check, now started working? Still a question mark!

With the pressure to do more and more, sometimes the boys too tend to break down and no matter how much they try; they’re not able to do anything. And by anything, I literally mean anything.

All his friends are working and he isn’t. Something triggers in his mind but he doesn’t realize. Father is asking him to do a course so that he can help with his business and he’s not interested. Father is asking him if he wants to study further, still nothing, the mother tries to find out what’s going on but nothing fruitful comes out! The result, the child/boy stops going out with friends, family, for movies and does nothing!

Parents are angry and worried at the same time. The society keeps on asking, what your son is doing, where is he working, is he done with his education, what kind of work is he interested in and on and on and on. Actually, the endless questions that society throws at people are what worry the family beyond anything else!

Maybe the boy is suffering from depression. But who will identify that? And then visiting a psychiatrist is still considered a taboo! What if anyone finds out? Everyone will think their son has gone mad and is getting treated! And in the midst of it, it the boy who is suffering every day of his life. Having no one by his side, no one who could understand the turmoil he is going through, not a single soul to talk his woes! Everybody just wants him to grow up, take up the responsibilities and start behaving like an adult! Nobody would let him be, and make him succumb to the norms that society has created! Nobody would be ready to accept the fact that an adult man is sitting in the house, doing nothing!

Source

When will we as a society come out of it? When will we accept everyone around us and stop thinking about what others will think? When will we fight monsters like depression if we ourselves consider it something bad?

So many people are trying to change things around by being more open about it, by asking them to seek help, that there is no harm in getting it treated by a professional, that there so many NGO’s trying to fight for it, that the stigma that you think is attached is only in your head and nowhere else!

As much as we try, it will take a lot of years to clean up this air in the society, I feel!

And yes, we shouldn’t be so hard on boys or men in our society!

Cheers

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Welcome to my Blog! I’m so happy to have you here! This A to Z Challenge, I’m going to give you a ride and take you to all the places untouched! My theme this year is ‘Let’s see the other Side’, where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.

I'd love to hear your thoughts!                                      

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Without You

Without you,

The days would be so blue,

No evening to look forward

No reason to pick a fight or two!

Without you,

Life would be so screwed

With no one around to share the woes

All I’ll have is bad mood!

Without you,

With whom will I share my stew?

And enjoy the beautiful view

And see the night pass through.

Without you,

Shopping would be so boring

No company to roam on the streets

No roaring because of your snoring!

Without you,

Gossips wouldn’t be fun

Nothing to spice it up

No joy in putting a pun! ;)

Without you,

With whom will I cry my heart’s woes?

And throw tantrums for no reason

And get my daily dose! ;)

Without you,

Who will point and tell my flaws?

And who will laugh at my faux pas?

And who will stand for me and applause?

Without you,

The Sunday cookings wouldn’t feel new

And my odd midnight cravings?

They wouldn’t be fulfilled with full credit and due!

Without you,

Who will I tease and get all pleasure?

And the endless tickles that take away your breath

Giving me our priceless laughter together, that I treasure!

Without you,

There will be no perfections

Life will be without directions

Without any connections!

~G

Linking this to Blogchatter Prompt- Without you

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Vice that help me Be Nice ;)

So this post is an inspiration from the one at Mayuri’s blog and it kind of intrigued me to write one for myself. How strange it is right, to always hold back to virtues we want to keep in our lives and yet we stick to the not-so-good-ones as well.

No matter how much we curse a few sides of our personality, deep down our hearts, we’re happy to have them. And sometimes we’re proud of them as well! Don't you agree?

As much as strength is crucial, isn’t weakness equally significant to shape the perfect ‘you’?

There are certain virtues that make our lives and a few vices that save our lives as well. As I write this, I ponder over a few vices that I’m actually glad I have. C’mon, let’s find out.

For starters, I’m too altruistic! Always having this urge to help others, no matter what circumstances may be and this has often caused problems for me. And this altruism is not for strangers, it’s for the people I’m most attached to. If at all anything is wrong with them, my priority is always to help them out and be with them. Regardless of the fact of what I’m going through or what I’m facing/feeling/suffering and all the ‘ings..’ :p At the end of the day, no matter how difficult the circumstances have been with me, being there for my people always leaves me in peace and have a sound sleep at night.

That incessant need to see good in others! Sometimes, it just gets too much! I always try to see the positive side... even in the most negative people. Sure it’s a good thing, but sometimes, it acts like a sheet of a blanket covering their devilish side, used to blindfold my own eyes!

Oh! And my odd cravings for odd things at odd hours! Talk to my husband about it, and you’ll know the details. Real fine details of my tantrums that I throw when I crave for certain things. When I feel like eating something or let’s say I’m famished, I crave for particular delicacies/stuff (sometimes) but those cravings are really high! And they have to be from a particular place only. Period. Or else, my mood is ruined for the next couple of hours! I know deep down you must pity my husband! I too have done that, but nothing changed! I’ve moved on.

I love being random. Being spontaneous is always something that excites me. Doing things unexpected, planning random surprises without any occasion, making sudden plans of trips or vacations or maybe a drive in the night, gives me thrills! I find it really exciting!

I have this thing of doing things aren’t supposed to be done! Yes, I have this incessant need to do and see how it feels. There were times when we were not allowed to do certain things and yet, I did most of them ;) :P :D. And I am happy and proud of it as well! Such events have their own share of fun I feel!

Source

Isn’t the activity fun? Sure these are vices, but the fun factor and the happiness to indulge in them is to another level! I love having them in me and would never want to change it, ever.

You should try it too and jot them down. You never know, what you may get to learn about yourself.

Cheers

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Angels into Demons

The moment I close the doors

Of my room,

And am left with me all alone

The room is filled with nothing but gloom!

The angels that were dancing in the daylight

Get all melancholic, laughing at my plight

That’s when the demons come out in the dark

And show me the reality that is so stark!

‘You’re good for nothing’

‘Nothing good have you ever done in your life,

Not a single thing’

‘You will have to wait more for your happiness’

Thoughts like these bring out all the snappiness!

No Facebook newsfeed, no tweets on Twitter,

No snaps on Snapchat, and no updates on Insta,

Nothing seems to distract away the vicious thoughts

Nothing that can vanish away the woes, no friends, no folks, not even siesta!

The more you’ll lock up yourself,

The more you’re going to get trapped

Go out and breathe away the fresh air

Glow in the sunshine and get all wrapped!

And then I open my heart

And walk my way, for a new start

Finding my inspiration, with hopes held high

Walk past the demons with relief and give a sigh!

 Cheers

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10 things I love about my work

Do you love your work? I sure do. Life as a teacher has been acutely satisfying. So much so that a part of my life revolves around my work and my students. 

C'mon!. Let's explore the perks of being a teacher,

One The World knows my ability to talk! Just talk! And what better place could it be than a room filled with people, younger than your age, who have no other option than listening to you?! ;) :D Okay, jokes apart, I always find it therapeutic to interact with my students. No matter how my mood is, it always gets better after each class.

Two Who doesn’t like to stay amongst the younger crowd? Not that there is much of a difference between our ages, but it’s always a good thing to stay and meet people who’re younger than your age. It sure adds a new perspective to your thinking and involves so much of learning.

Three Isn’t it rewarding to see when someone looks up to you? To me, it’s even more motivating to keep myself live up to the expectations of my students. And that adds another sense of responsibility at the same time.

Four Daily interactions in the class, cracking jokes in order to make the subject more interesting, giving examples and going back to the time when I was a student! It makes me reminisce my old college days and all of this helps in keeping the child in me alive. 

Five Sure it occupies my time and helps me stay busy. And this is so important to keep my sanity alive. I know how miserable I get and how handy I become when I have too much of time to myself doing nothing. Sure, it ensures peace in my life :P

Six Taking one batch after the other and seeing your students come out with flying colors automatically does the due. The sense of respect in the loud and clear, ‘Thank you, Ma’am!!’ after each class is immensely satisfying. Along with the perks of recognition, accomplishing the sense of identity other being someone’s ‘Mrs’ is contagious!

Seven There was a point in my life where feeling worthless was the only sentiment I could sense.  Things changed with my work and helped me come out of that zone. The love that my students shower upon me, I don’t even know if I deserve that, but it feels exceptionally gratifying.

Eight And who can ignore the lifetime relationships and bonding that comes with it?

Nine My profession has taught me to embrace life, to consider the pebbles thrown at you as the stepping stones towards success and above all to feel grateful for changing lives for good, for shaping the thought process and for thriving towards excellence! 

Ten There was a time when I used to lose my cool real soon. But with time, my work has taught me to be patient and empathetic towards my students. Now I know, keeping calm and being a patient soul can do wonder to your class and of course, your life!

Thank goodness, I've not become like this :P

Does it ring a bell to you? Nope, you don’t necessarily have to be a teacher for it. Tell me if this post reminds you of any teacher? How were your experiences back then with them? Share with me and I am all ears J

Cheers

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Moment of Warmth

I was in a rush. I had to take the class and I was late already. And I hate that. I don’t like being late. But that day was different. After finishing the chores, I was all set to rush for my class and there he was, my husband, standing in the way, asking me not to go.

‘You know we have to be there in an hour’

‘And you know I have a class. I can’t miss that’

‘But that function is important. You know we can’t afford to miss that one’

‘And you know there are students waiting. I can’t cancel at this moment’

‘But you won’t be free early. How long will you take to get free?’

‘After class, I have to visit the doc. That pain on my ankle is really creating a problem. I can’t bear with it anymore. And then I’ll have to buy some medicines prescribed by the doctor. It will take time’

‘Can’t you visit the doctor, tomorrow?’

‘Are you kidding me? You’ve been with me and witnessed all the sleepless nights of agony! How can you even ask me this? I have to go today.’

‘I know it’s serious, but that is also important’

‘And this, is this not important enough for you? Instead of taking me to the doctor, you are asking me to cancel it? You know how difficult it is to get Doc. S’s appointment. I’ve been waiting for weeks and finally, I've got one! And you want me to let it go?!  Sorry, Mister. Not possible’

‘Fine! Do what you want! I’ll go alone... without you!’, exclaimed A.

‘Fine!!’, as I rammed the door and left.

I was furious at that moment. In spite of understanding and being with me at the moment, he’s mad about the fact that I’m not coming with him!

Visiting a doctor is a hassle. Sure I have the appointment but the patients have to wait for hours to have their turn. It sometimes really is a test of my patience levels.

I took the class and visited the doctor. A few tests and few medicines and I was set to go home after spending 4 hours in this entire process.

I was exhausted. And angry at him. And my phone was vibrating. It was him. Why is he calling now?

‘Where are you?’

‘I’m home. What happened?’

‘Did you go to the doctor?’

‘Yes’, of course, I did. Why else does he think we were having that argument?

‘What did he say?’, as if he cares?!

‘Nothing. He has asked to get the x-ray done. I’ve got it done. Bought the medicines as well. It’s a sprain. Nothing major’

‘Oo.. okay. Everyone was asking for you here. I told them you’ll be able to come in a while. But I think you should stay at home. Take rest. That is more important. This, I’ll handle.’

‘Are you sure?’, I’m sure he’s kidding. I know how important these functions are for him!

‘Ya... ya... I’ll be home in a while. See you then. Bye’

‘Bye’

And so effortlessly, my anger was gone. One single phone call from him that says he cares had melted my heart away. There was so much of warmth in that minute long call. And just like this, I was spilled in love, all over again!

And guess what, he was home early and sat by me all evening. Now, this is what I call happiness.

Tell me what melts your heart away? Tell me about your moments of joy filled with all the warmth and love.

Cheers

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“I’m blogging about my #MagicOfWarmth moment at BlogAdda in association with Parachute Advansed Hot Oil”

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Bitter Sweet Life

The other day this thought crossed my mind. And it made me realise things change so fast around us and we don’t even notice. But when realisations strike, it obviously gets too late!

So many things change when we grow up. And we become the kinds we never thought we would. Our circle gets limited. We become less understanding and more judging. We give less and expect more. For every ounce of stuff done around us. We’re always surrounded by things neck deep that we barely get time for our loved ones. And so, we don’t call them either. Rather, wait for the other one to make an effort and if the other doesn’t, it becomes our birthright to blame them for being busy and not calling us or not making an effort.

Convenient, isn’t it?

From the times in the school, when sharing about your first crush, or first boyfriend or the many firsts, that used to be the highlight of the day, without which we wouldn’t be able to digest our food, and was the top priority to get it out somehow, to the times when we fight our scariest demon... all alone! And the worst part is we start hiding things. Coz of the fear of being judged, or probably to display that our life is perfect. That we know how to deal with stuff around us!

I don’t know what is it and more importantly, why it is like this!

Things change. Relationships change. Priorities change.

|Something that once seemed so evil becomes the only drug to keep you going.

I, for one, used to be the most caring person around. I used to think about others before myself. I still do. I used to be the one making calls on birthdays to wish the person not-so-special (I've stopped doing that), the one who was always ready to sacrifice and suffer, the one who’d never put herself before anyone else, the one who couldn’t live without her friends, the one whose yapping used to be her thing, the one who couldn’t resist sharing the minutest of details happening in her life. Sharing the particulars of the most silly things that can happen in one’s life, to obviously the ones that are truly worth sharing. And today, when I look at myself, I feel so different. Part of that person inside me has taken a slow death!

I barely text my friends, let alone call them. And I don’t even regret that. If someone calls, it’s fine by me. But that urge to take that extra effort, it doesn’t come. I’m still figuring why?

But the good part is during this process, the ones who are truly yours will always come to you and that makes you happy. Really happy.

Recently, I saw this word and it resonated with my state of mind so well that I want to share it here.

Yes, sometimes I feel Exhaustipated!

I don’t care about things and I feel okay about it! People, who know me well, know how strange it is for me to feel this way.

And this year, the resolution that truly is the highlight and the one I’m religiously working on, is to ‘Speak less’! Yes, you heard that! Loud and clear.

Not that I’m trying to change who I am, but trying to change certain habits that have been doing more harm than good! And no one is responsible for it, but me. Whenever I end up feeling bad, I realize it’s all because of me that I felt the way I did. I’m not blaming anyone, nor am I pointing fingers at anyone, all I’m saying is there are certainly things that I should change about myself, coz no one but me will be the one getting hurt the most!

And in between, I look forward to discovering more of myself. I’m sure it’s going to be worth it.

I think it’s enough for today. Tell me about yourself.

Have you ever done this? Tried to change something about yourself and the way it turned out to be? 

Was it good? Was it worth the try? Share with me all your wisdom and I am all ears here!

Does this post resonate with you? Let me know either way.

Cheers

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