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Old age is the time when you’re dependent on your children... not just financially but physically as well.
We all have heard stories of how kids leave their parents in the old-age homes because they suddenly start feeling parents are more of a burden and a plethora of thoughts have been expressed on this issue where we all empathize with the senior citizens of the country.
Most of the times when you visit someone’s house and see an old person who is not very well, sitting on the bed quietly, you kind of give a mercy glance at them... You chit-chat with them and then they start to open up and tell you how their family don’t care for them or don’t sit with them or just simply give food as if they’re some animal and the likes.
Sure, you don't the like idea of them being treated like this and you sort of feel bad, which is what a normal human being would feel and what option are you left with anyway?
Well, there’s another side of the story which you can’t see. No one can really see!
What if the family takes care of every single need of the elders and fulfills almost every demand... even if it means making a halwa at midnight! Sure the family doesn’t sit with the old person. But do you know whenever they do, both of them end up having a tiff altogether! And above all, what if all they want is to bitch about other family member and then bitch about you to that family member?
When you know this, would you want to sit with them? Plus, this is the current scenario! What about the past? Ever heard the stories of Indian mother-in-laws? Well, some of them end up being in jail because of the way they treat their daughter-in-laws!
So where were we? Oh! The past!
In the past life when she was the head of the family, what did she do to her DIL? She did not give her food when she was pregnant, she’d hit her head if she ever saw that pallu going back from head, she threw away the plate of food because it wasn’t her favourite dish, she’d hit her in front of everyone, she’d abuse her day and night, she made her the maid of the house who worked from 6 am till 11 pm without a single break, she didn’t leave a single stone unturned to make her life hell after marriage!
Spending the golden phase of your life which will never come back, in such a misery like this takes away a lot of emotions from you and makes you numb!
That’s the case in so many houses, that’s the reason the family doesn’t want to sit with them and don’t want to do things wholeheartedly. Sure they would serve them 24*7 and be on their toes to everything they command; but that love and respect for them, that willingness to spend time with them can never come... no matter how hard they try!
When I was a child, I felt everything that adults did was right, and everyone is a good person. But things are never the way they look.
When I was a child, I felt everything that adults did was right, and everyone is a good person. But things are never the way they look.
So next time when you judge a family, try to know the inside story behind it!
Cheers
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Welcome to my Blog! This A to Z Challenge, my theme is ‘Let’s see the other Side’. Through this theme, I'm trying to giving voice lot of things that go around us and yet I can't do much to bring about the change. I feel, sharing my thoughts in my space here will somewhere make someone think and bring about the change we all want to see!
where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.
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Welcome to my Blog! This A to Z Challenge, my theme is ‘Let’s see the other Side’. Through this theme, I'm trying to giving voice lot of things that go around us and yet I can't do much to bring about the change. I feel, sharing my thoughts in my space here will somewhere make someone think and bring about the change we all want to see!
where I’ll be sharing about the daily nuances that we’ve been seeing in the same way since 1990’s! (:P) But this time you’re going to ponder over it a bit differently.
Feel free to express your thoughts and I'd be all ears!
I hope you have a great time here!
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Well, it's karma... What you sow, so shall you reap. No one likes a bad person... It's universal. Be it young or old. I like how in every post you express your thoughts in a different perspective.
ReplyDeleteWhat goes around, comes around. I have been once to an old age home and I really liked it. I'd like VT and me to be together in one maybe.
ReplyDeleteAs Raj said, what you sow, so shall you reap. I know it is considered heartless but I find myself agreeing with this - inlaws who ill-treated you badly do not really get the benefit of 'in my old age, they left me'... it doesn't work that way.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you wrote this, GG. I know people who are horrid and have been horrid but play the 'we are so old and look how we get treated' card in front of visitors and strangers. We never really know what has gone on or goes on behind closed doors.
ReplyDeleteWhat goes around comes around. But then, not all cases are this dire either. Plus, I don't think we can ever know family dynamics.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, each family has its own dynamics which people don't know of and end up judging them for what is seen on the outside. It's all karma, I guess. However, the part where you say they bitch about you with others and likewise about others to you, I feel it's a lot to do with old age making them act like kids again. There's no reasoning to such acts.
ReplyDeleteMy father says,Old is what you feel inside. I am not sure what that means though but I feel somtimes he does feel lonely.
ReplyDeleteA Peice Of My Life
This is true. We never know what's happening in a particular family, but I've heard of cases like these
ReplyDeleteSo very true Geetika. And there are two sides of the coin and one shouldn't be judging based on just one side.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder people these days prefer to stay away from their in laws.
True that! Old age homes are seen as some curse, but there could be so many reasons for the situation to be like this. Bad interpersonal relations are a big factor for it.
ReplyDeleteObnoxious
This is very correct Geetika. When we don't know the story from both the sides, we should not pass any judgements. Some older people become manipulative by nature, maybe to gain popularity.
ReplyDeleteI second you. Please check on the reason why no one wishes to sit with her and more often than not you will be forced to change your views.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really interested post, Geethika! This is something we all know but no one has said it so blatantly like you just did. These are all forced relationship thrust upon by tradition and there is abuse of power like you rightly pointed out. And yes, many have wasted away their golden years in this mindless torture. Loved the honesty and depth of this post. If you are interested, I would like to invite you to read my blog and this year´s challenge https://pensense.blogspot.in. Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteI like reading your posts Geet..they are all so meaningful and actually related to real life scenarios. This one is true and I agree that we cant just judge a family with what we see.
ReplyDeleteWhat goes on behind closed doors a mystery and not always nice ones.Life is a karmic cycle.So what happens in old age has its seeds sown long back.Lovely post Geetika
ReplyDeleteTrue that! We cannot judge anyone without knowing the truth. These kind of in-laws cannot expect their DILs to take care of them in their old age. Great post, Geethika!
ReplyDeleteThailand Travel Stories at Kohl Eyed Me
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Each family has it's unique battles and stories which we are unaware of. So, yes we can judge anybody. Also, I believe in Karma. it all comes back. As you sow, so shall you reap.
ReplyDeleteI remember the old lady who lived across the street from us. Her son owned the house with his wife and five children. She was a nasty person. My mother used to say that god didn't want her and the devil wouldn't take her so she'll live forever.
ReplyDeleteTrue..never judge a person by what is going on in their life at present...everything is the result of their own actions..karma..
ReplyDeleteI know of some old people who just say all that to garner sympathy. But you are right, Geets... we can never know the inner dynamics of a family. It's best not to judge.
ReplyDeleteBtw, I just published my O post @ A to Z of Happiness: Optimism.
Do visit it.
Happy AtoZing!
that's true - judging a person isn't great.
ReplyDeleteTina
Twinkling Tina Cooks
I think we have a wrong perception of homes and some of them are really good. I am glad you wrote this post devoid of prejudices or judgement. It's always good to have a fresh and honest point of view. I think there is a reality with changing dynamics of children moving places to work and as long as they care for parents by visiting from time to time, I see no wrong in staying away from parents.
ReplyDeleteYou are judged by someone always, whether you know or not or want or do not want, there is always a calculation going on somewhere which decides how you are going to end up in this life - Karma counts
ReplyDelete