Z-Zeal

It was just yesterday when I was thinking a word for Z, but the hectic day, the chores to be done before leaving for a getaway was constantly on mind. Also, yesterday was my last class at one of the batches I teach, so a lot had to be discussed before leaving. It was my first batch when I started teaching and a bit handy too in the beginning to tackle students who're all young adults. I started with a simpler subject then. Students too were not very happy when I joined as I started in the middle of the session, switching from a much senior 'err' experienced teacher to a junior 'err' inexperienced one (well, they didn't know about it though). So yeah, I got their delimma and the reason for a little irregularity in class. As the time was passing, there was a sort of bond that was developing between us which I never realised until now! 
The moment I use to enter the class and wish everyone, and a 'Thank you' before leaving, the curious eyes, the smiles, the number of examples and a few laughter that I shared with everyone filled everything with so much of positivity. I always use to get positive vibes in class and this encouraged me more to deliver the best lecture every day! 

So yesterday, I was winding up the class and say goodbye to everyone till a student gave the best compliment I have ever received in my life! She said, "Ma'am you are best teacher we have in the institute" and the whole class, "Yes Ma'am"..!  It was indeed exhilarating. I was more than pleased.. Overwhelmed actually!  I knew that my students loved me, but getting this compliment was beyond anything I could ever ask for! I was filled with immense zeal to do better for the coming batch. And I do realize that it won't be easy. New challenges would be there and I am all set.. waiting for them to come!

Few months earlier, I was so engrossed in finding work for myself and now I have successfully finished the first batch! Time does fly fast.
It made my day hectic and I loved every single bit of it. Lot of people asked me what was the need for me to work, or why do I waste so much of my time, or why run here and there when you can just relax and chill. Well, people who know me would understand what it means to me. And to those who came up unnecessary comments, I can never explain what it means to me, the feeling of contentment that I got yesterday was beyond everything and nobody could ever give me that in any form! 

It was that moment when I got the topic for today and it couldn't have been better than this! 

I cannot thank enough my husband enough who gave me this idea long back (to start teaching) and my family for their constant support. My mother in law, without whose support and co - operation nothing of it  would be possible. Post marriage, there are a lot more responsibilities, a lot more duties and things that require constant attention but my mom in law took care of every bit of it. She made sure I ate well before leaving for class, she made sure I get ample time to prepare for the class if I need, she made sure that I never ever get late for my work no matter who so ever was the guest in the house. The compliment what I got is truly hers and would never be possible without her constant support. Lastly, my mother who always got what I meant and was equally worried for me before this work. It's all coz of her faith where I am today and I owe everything to her.

I know, it’s quite a long post but it had to be.. it's all what I had in my heart and now is all out on my blog (that is why we all have blogs in the first place, don't we?)

My post for A to Z challenge April 2015

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Y-YOLO

You Only Live Once (YOLO), that is what today's generations' mantra is about life. And same goes with me.. and I think it should be for every single person. 

All of us are blessed with just one life and we get to it live fully, then why not make the most of it? Instead of procrastinating it to some other event in your life, why not just do it now.. Live like there's no tomorrow! At least that is what I think.

The recent earthquake in Nepal, shattered the entire country.. thousands of people got homeless within a few seconds, many lost their families and are orphans now! Almost everyone of them must have had a few plans for their future, their to-do list for their life.. and all of it destroyed in one go.. Unfair.. isn't it? 

I had to travel on Thursday in the coming week and it was Saturday, when I was scheduling my work accordingly and planning to get take classes on Sunday as well (there's any ways extra classes on Sunday, but I was going to take it for first time, as I had to wind up the syllabus within the given time). Moreover, I had one of the student's textbook which I took from him on Friday, and was suppose to return on Saturday as he was going out of station that day in evening and would return back in town after a while and I took the book with full surety that I would return it to him on Saturday itself. But Saturday was a bad day for many.. coz earthquake happened and destroyed the whole country (I'm sure you must be checking it all out on the news channels). But as normal individuals, all of us must have planned their work for the weekend that wouldn't have been executed due to the natural calamity if you're in the proximity of the affected area. Like wise it happened with me.

a. classes got cancelled for the day 

b. I couldn't return the book to my student

c. No classes were conducted on Sunday as well as Monday

d. Now, will have to take classes next Sunday

All of us have our hearts and prayers with the victims of the earthquake and a lot of us must have already done what we could do on our behalf to help them out.  The point is nothing in life is certain and sure. You never know what might happen to you the very next moment and there' nothing one can do to avoid such situation. And so the best thing that you can do is to go by what your heart says, do what you truly want to do.. who knows what wonders it may do.. you just have this moment, live it to the full. Go out, make new friends, read a book, date, see the stars, travel the world, do the wackiest of things if you feel like it, pursue a hobby that you love.. and the list goes on and one and on!

Never stop dreaming and NEVER EVER think it’s too late.. coz it’s better to Late than to be NEVER!

This is my post for A to Zchallenge April 2015

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X- Ray

“I love him so much!” said Tanya to her best friend, Amika, after a small rendezvous of the three.

“Yeah, he seems to be a nice guy and you two look really cute together”, said Amika.

“I have so much respect for him. At such an early age, he’s been handling all his family affairs, been a responsible son, being a student, assists his parents financially, and then God knows when does he makes time for his studies!”

“And makes time for you as well!” Amika winks.

Tanya blushes

Tanya, “He truly is a sweetheart and deserves all the happiness in the world”

Amika, ”Sure, he does”

“But there’s one thing that bothers me. You remember my neighbour, Mihir? What he did with his girlfriend? I can’t even dream of it ever”

“Shh...  Arnav is not like that. You should know this by now. He’d never do such thing with you”

“I know.. but sometimes, I get really worried. What if he did? He has all my pictures, all OUR pictures and we've exchanged almost every possible thing with each other and what if they get leaked?”

“I’m sure, it won’t. He’s not that kind of a boy. He really respects you, and admires you. His true love for you can be seen in his eyes, plus I've known him for a really long time. I know him in and out”

“I've suffered enough Amika. I cannot afford to have another heart break. After two failed relationships, I do not have the strength to suffer any more”

“You won’t... And remember what I told you about those two guys?”

“Yes, I do. How do you do this? I mean, how on earth do have these X-Ray eyes, which are perfectly able to scan every bone, every nerve of people?”

“I don’t know. And it’s not for anyone but you. Coz I love you and nothing in the world is more important to me than you”

“Oh, I love you too sweetheart! And I am very lucky to have you by my side! God knows, what I would do without you!”

“You’ll do nothing, coz I’ll always be there”

“Thank you so much. I am so relieved at this moment after talking to you. You really know how to lighten my mood and cheer me up”

“You’re welcome. Now let’s go for some shopping, I have to collect a few stuff from the store”

“Cool”

P.S: The small conversation above is something we share with our friends quite often and all of us have our lovely girlfriends by our side, who’re no less than detectives and tell the exact thing about our endless worries and it’s just them who know what truly goes inside our head! This post is just a small example and is dedicated to all of them

My post of A to Z Challenge April2015

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W- Words

When heard, they sound so simple

A perfect tool for people to mingle!

When said right, they can create magic

Rejuvenating the aura, making everyone nostalgic!

Words when written, convey the strongest of message

Powerful enough to bring about a revolution yet can cause wreckage!

A few write to calm themselves down

Others find solace by reciting it to whole town!

Poems and stories, take all forms of shape

For every writer loves this escape!

There are words to soothe one’s ears

And by having them, one is ready to live for years

But, there are abrasive words as well

When said, can really make people quarrel!

They say, words and arrows should be handled with care

For once they’re out; its damage is out of repair

Pen is mightier than sword it’s said

For its words, that gives it the power to be heard!

Posting for A to Z Challenge 2015

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V-Veil

Veil.. Intriguing word, isn't it? Lot of people wear coz it’s their religion and a part of their culture. While the rest wear in order to hide their true selves. So it’s like this phrase that says, whatever you see is not the reality, and whatever is the reality, you don’t see! That holds true for many aspects in life and people have adopted it as a way of living. For instance, if you see a girl in veil, with only her eyes disclosed, seem to be quite fascinated by many but when her full face is shown, it might not be that pretty or may be burnt.. and it may not interest you then. I mean no offence to anyone. The point I'm trying to raise is what you see is never the same to what you expect it to be!

Let’s have another example. So there’s a super wealthy business class family, who’re loaded with money and enjoy a good stature in the society. But inside the house, it’s something different. Not allowing the females to try their hands in cooking, or trying out various specialities as it will waste lot of gas, saying no to newly wedded bride for shopping as she already has a dozen of clothes, not allowing their younger generation to go out and have dinner on weekends (or may be once in a week) coz it will cost you, being after the life of the daughter in law to reduce the extra weight that she has. I ask where were your eyes when you saw her for the first time. She had that extra weight then as well.. now why annoying her with your stupid comments about her weight?

Now let’s come to another family, who is again a loaded one. Have a huge house, beautiful, neat and clean and a lot many servants to maintain it. And if by any chance one day the servants are on leave, it doesn’t really affects much. So what do you do that day? You make your daughter in law clean the house, every edge, every room, wash the terrace, etc, all alone, not just with the broom stick but making her wipe each and every floor! Allowing her to move out of the house just once in a month and not meet much people and giving her a fancy car only to have a look at its beauty! And to top it all, what you say to your friends is, “O our daughter in law is so lucky to have us, we have provided everything to her. She is very happy!” Veil.

Just one more instance. A rich family, needs a fair, educated, pretty girl for their son. To get one, they have made all the arrangements to look sophisticated and modern, keeping a full time staff so as to impress all the prospects. And luckily, you get one decent girl as well. Now few months after the wedding, sentences like, “Oh why do we need a staff?”, “we both are there to do the work right?”, “we don’t need it”, “there’s hardly any work in the house”, and then you kick out the servant and now are not willing to keep one! Veil..

Well, still not convinced? Another example. So she wants to work. And they say, it’s not a problem. You work, just see the timings that it doesn’t affects your family life, which is totally acceptable. It’s been just a week, when she’s joined the family business and now when home after work, encounters a few guests. On asking where she was and stuff like that, the humble MIL (mother-in-law) jumps in between, and says, “Oh! She.. she was at her mother’s”, or “she’s been to the salon”.. or “she went to the market nearby to get veggies”..!! Well this the story inside the house.. now let’s go to the office.. the girl reaches the office at 1 pm and at 1.30 the FIL (Father-in-law) comes and says, “Dear, do you mind going home today and take rest? I have a few friends coming over. It won’t look nice, when they’ll find out about you working here!”. Obviously, it all came as a shock to her! If you have so much of problem with her work, then why ask her in the first place? Oh yes, only to display that we’re modern and broad minded. Perfect example to use the Veil and hide your true face!

Like I said, whatever you see is not the reality and whatever is the reality, you don’t see! And everyone wants to hide themselves under this veil and portray a fake image in this sham world!

What amuses me is what is there to hide? If you are orthodox or conservative, then why hide it? Have the balls to accept the way you are, at least with your family! All I feel never make any judgements only by seeing what is shown and be rational in your life! it will sort a lot many things than you can ever imagine!

Posting for A to Z Challenge 2015

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U- Uncertainty in Marriages

So practically, everything in life is uncertain. From what we eat for our good health, to the electronic gadgets that we buy, from the ornaments that want to flaunt to watching a movie by a popular star cast, from the investments in the market with the hope of getting assured returns, to a student joining an institute or a professional course to have that extra edge, but without any certainty to be placed.. So basically we are surrounded with almost everything which is uncertain.. and in the midst of so  many uncertainties, lies the uncertainty of this big word called Marriage.

It’s all risk that we take. Nobody knows what’s going to happen next and one is not even sure if this is the right thing to do, yet people rush into making that one crucial decision of life in haste. Just because one has crossed 25 or just because one has a younger daughter who has come of age to be married doesn’t imply to run things hastily for the elder one. Or if by any chance if the family finds out the best groom in town, err, universe, get your daughter married! Well, what logic is this? I mean how on earth these reasons can be even accepted to convince anyone for marriage. And what next? Who will take the responsibility of the happiness of both the girl and the boy? Where is it written that it’s going to be a happy marriage? Even after having all luxuries and all the freedom, if still there is no chemistry between the partners then what sense does it make to stay with each other at all? Or what’s the assurance that both are going to get along well with each other?  There are marriages which are dragged by couples just for the sake of the family name. And this makes the condition worse. It happens not only in an arranged marriage but is also seen in love marriages.

“You don’t love me the way use to before marriage”, “you don’t talk to me much”, “you don’t share anything new about yourself”, “we’ve lost that spark”, etc. etc. I’m sure you must have heard such sentences from a lot many couples. First, when they were dating, they wanted to be with each other and now when they’re married, they hardly find anything interesting in each other. I am not saying that all love marriages are the same. It’s all about finding the right person, sharing that compatibility, that chemistry, that strong urge to be with another, that need to share.. to talk your heart out.. and if you have found one, you are VERY lucky. Ask someone, the value of all of it who longs for such things in life. And then there a few arranged marriages, which makes you realized it isn't that bad.. such examples are very hard to find, otherwise most of them exist on the word Compromise!

Well, there’s a bit more to it. Have a few examples to share:

1.  So let’s say a couple gets married (arranged). In spite of all the drama before the wedding because   the quality of gifts that both families exchanged, the marriage happens (as the bride and the groom were drowned in love). Now post marriage, bride finds out that there’s some serious illness to the guy. It comes as a shock to her, but she decides to be with her husband as they both belong to each other. Now a few months later she finds out that his disease is not new and it’s been there from a few years, plus there’s no treatment which is going on and the family is not ready to listen or provide any support to it. So how a girl should respond to this? She loves the guy, so don’t want to leave him, but is really mad at his family and him for not disclosing all of it at the time of marriage. Uncertainty.
2.  Another case, guy assures the girl that she can continue with work post marriage. But after the big day, he and his family refuses. Girl walks off from the marriage. Uncertainty
3. Couple gets married (love) after a relationship of eight long years. Now, guy loves someone else and doesn’t have much interest in his wife. Girl forces to have to child to bring back the intimacy. Again uncertain.

You’re 26, you should get married! O.. you’ve completed 2 years of marriage, why no baby? Plan now.. it is the right time.. best time for you.. then you’ll be free.. or is there a problem? Why don’t you go and see XYZ doctor.. it’ll help you out! 

My goodness, what on earth makes you bicker so much! Having a baby or not is completely mine and my husband’s choice.. who on earth are you to be so worried about my personal life! Have a job.. get a life.. Please! What I don’t understand is, when there nothing certain at all about anything then why risk a life of the third individual in this? If there is a lack of intimacy between the couple, what’s the proof that it won’t be there after bringing another life into existence? But that is how it is. Accept it. 

In this constant uncertainty, all you can do is believe in yourself, trust your instincts.. rest all leave to your Karma.

What do think of uncertainty? Is there anything that you think comes with a guarantee? I would love to know about it..?

P.S: Sorry to make you read so much..!

Posting for A to ZChallenge 2015

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T- Tattoo

Lately, I’ve been fascinated by tattoos quite a lot. That impression on your skin to stay with you all your life.. only thing that goes with you till your grave.. Makes you think right? Everyone have their own forms expressions.. few depict in the art they make, few carve out their heart in the form of endless poems, few love it on their body. It gives them the confidence of being onself. Something which they truly own and it belongs to them fully. It makes you what you are and lets you show it all off to the world. People often pass judgements on this, considering one too loud or erratic, sometimes hippy as well.. but that’s not the point. And it shouldn't be.. it should not bother you as long as you want it and are comfortable carrying it.

So after doing some thinking, I decided to get one for myself. Scary, the thought was! Painful it’s gonna be was what people said. But.. there are so many things that we do in life are painful.. Aren’t they? The injection, waxing and to top it all, bikini wax  would be the extreme.. and what about labour pains that females have?! It’s said, that it is the most painful thing that females go through, but that doesn’t stops them from giving birth to a new life and experience motherhood.. then why tattoos are a problem, I ask?

It was last summer, when I went to Delhi. One of the to do list on my mind was to have a tattoo for myself. They say, the more easily you get anything, the less value it will have in your life. I think this was the reason, after scouting a few tattoo parlours I found nothing fruitful in my hand.  Finally, later that afternoon, I reached the desired tattoo shop. Me and my friends were literally exhausted, because of the scorching heat outside, plus the number of stairs that we had to climb to reach the place. This was just one hurdle; the others were in their way lined up, waiting for me to arrive! So before reaching there, I had made an appointment and they gave me one. And obviously, I reached there at the right time. To their surprise they were not expecting me be there at the given time, stating the reason that people mostly, reach as per Indian standard time. As they didn’t expect me to be there, they didn’t had the equipment as well the tattoo artist available. But I decided to wait. During this time, I was searching for the right tattoo and the right place to get it done

. 

Well, here are a few things to keep in mind, before getting a tattoo done.

• Always prefer a place on your body which is fleshy as it's supposedly less painful. The nearer to the bone you opt, the more painful it’s going to get.
• So, if you like on ankle or your wrist, you can get it done a little far away from the bone, so as to avoid the excess the pain.
• Choose a simple tattoo, if it’s your first time, so as to deal with pain.
•  After getting the tattoo done, the artist will ask you to do a bit of home care for a week. Well don’t do it for a week, but continue it for a month or two (application of lubricant). For it darkens the effect of tattoo on your skin and makes it look pretty.

I've heard from a lot of people who go to get the tattoo done, but due to insufficient knowledge and the negligence of the artist to provide full proof facts, they face problems with their tattoos, like lightening of it or sometimes, even regular itching as well.

Deciding the perfect design was a task for me, but then I was happy with what I finalized. My tattoo artist was from Canada and it was the last tattoo that she was doing in India. She was a very experienced female. And guess what, it just didn’t pain at all!!! My friends were astonished seeing me and got enough of motivation by seeing the ease with which I was getting it done. It was all because my tattoo artist.. she was extremely good at her work. I did felt like some ants were biting me, but all of it was very minimal. I was literally on cloud nine after getting it done. Finally a tattoo of my own.. on my ankle.. J

Plus, it didn't pain at all and that energized me even more! Later that evening, I had a gala time.

That's my tattoo along with a picture of my artist..!

Having a tattoo is truly exciting. Have you ever thought  of ever getting it done? Where? Would love to hear you?

Written for A to Z Challenge 2015

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S- Sin

“Are you sure you don’t want to contribute anything to it?”

“What else do I say to this? I have said enough”

“I don’t think so.. there’s a lot more to it than what you’re saying”

“If you know so much, then why do you ask so many questions in the first place; moreover there’s nothing more to this that I can add”

“Don’t blame me in the end, coz you are the one who is putting me into this coercion, plus do not regret after I open my mouth”

“Are you warning me? M not scared of anything.. do what want.. say what you can..”

“You won’t be able to digest the truth”

“Oh! I bet..!”

“Why do you hide things from me? If you’re not happy with me, then say it.. let me know.. do something about it, and if doesn't works out, then split..go your way.. I don’t want a relationship just for the sake of having it! As long as it’s true, and it holds each other together, and we both feel this need to be with each other, I don’t mind staying in one!!”

“What on earth are you saying? And what is wrong with us? Everything seems fine to me.. our relationship.. ‘err’ marriage is doing just fine.”

“Really..?! I had no idea about that! Surely, checking out your exe’s profile or her pictures every other day is normal.. Secretly being in touch with her via mails or messages and sometimes meeting as well is a sign of healthy affair and not a healthy marriage!! Had I known this, I wouldn’t have sacrificed my dreams for your sake! I would continue with work and neglect our kids, then I guess you’d understand the gravity of this entire conversation. Oh,. And yess.. how can I forget to mention all your office flings, the beeping of your device in the middle of the night, or at 5 in the morning!
Just because I don’t say anything doesn’t mean I don’t know anything!”

I was dumbstruck for a moment, trying to digest the reality with which my wife was fully aware. I kept mum for a few minutes, figuring out what to say and how to put all of this. All these years, I'm the one who’s been taking advantage of all the leisure in the name of work, and sneaking out whenever it came to shouldering of responsibilities. I am sorry, more than anything.

“I'm leaving”

“Leaving? Where?”

“Leaving you! Leaving this house.. m taking the kids along with me. Please do not try to contact me. I'm done with you and your lecherous activities.”

“Please.. don’t go”

“I told you, don’t regret if I open my mouth.”

She leaves..

I knew in my heart what I was doing with her was not right , but what I never thought was  it will sacrifice my family to pay the price for my sins!  

My post for A to Z ChallengeApril 2015

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R- Rogue

It was my last semester in college. Finally, completing the fashion designing course was like a dream come true. I remember the day four years back when I informed my mother about the choice of career I wanted to make. Everybody in the family supported me, but my mother. She was in fury. She had great expectations from me, and she was the one who is always been there with me in times of crisis. But not this time. 
Entering into an industry like fashion was nothing more than a stigma for the family. But after me joining college, she kind of changed. Maybe because of the laurels that I brought to the college and family, or maybe it was my grades that did magic on her. And for this, I can’t thank my teachers enough for their support, for the belief they had in me.

Though during those years in college, I had one special teacher. Niharika ma’am. I was in awe of her beauty. She was young and energetic. Her charisma made the entire college frantic about her. She was the one every girl in my batch wanted to be like one. And boys like me.. all we wanted was to be noticed by her, at least once! 
Her charm manifolds with every new student in college. And above all, she was a wonderful human being. She was agile, in teaching, making her decisions, just everything. 

I was lucky to have her class in the first semester. Gradually, when I started studying her subject, I found it really interesting. And of course, I had doubts in them. Which obviously I asked after the class (extra attention :P), but due to lack of time, she advised me to mail those queries or come to her office sometime. I was more than happy. 
She had her own fashion website which was really popular. I started showing interest in it. She too liked me I guess. Soon, we were acquainted with each other. Next few semesters I didn't have her class, but that didn't stop us from being in touch with each other. Emails, chats, text messages was our daily ritual.

And, the sad truth was she was married. For five years. And I knew it from the very beginning, yet I couldn't control what I was having inside. I think she too was falling for me. But never really say anything, yet her gestures did all the talking.

It was one fine day when things really got heated up between us via messages. I don’t know where it was going, I didn't realize what I was texting. All I wanted was to be with her then. And that’s what she too wanted. We did talk about her marriage once, but she didn't say much. She wasn't comfortable talking about it with me obviously and even I hated to talk about her husband. As things were getting steamy between me and her, I decided not to waste much of the time and I reached her home. 

She was there, waiting for me. She wasn't my teacher anymore and I was not her student any longer. 

We both just wanted to be One. I was the one holding her tight, and she.. she was the one who was melting in me... her heartbeat was rising and so was mine. I don’t know if I was right or wrong... all I knew was I never wanted to stop what we were having between us. She was loosening inside me, her hands meeting mine, her hair on my shoulder, my hand on her forehead, caressing her face. I planted a kiss on her cheeks. Her eyes locking in mine, telling me to continue... continue loving her. And I obeyed them. I loved her like there’s no tomorrow. She completed me. I completed her. We never wanted that moment to come to an end. 

When I was home, back from her place, I kind of felt uncomfortable. I got a text message from her.. it was the best thing that happened in my life. Thank you so much. 

I was smiling.

“But she’s married dude.. come on..! wake up”

“So what? How does it matter? I never asked her to leave her husband.”

“But that’s not how it works!”

“I find solace with her, and so does she with me... why is that a problem?”

“Coz she’s your teacher, you fool!”

“Not anymore. And even if she is, she has made me learn the best lessons of life”

“For which, you should be grateful to her and nothing more than that!”

“I am grateful to her. But I can’t leave her and she too doesn't want to leave me”

“Fine.. your wish”

“Fine!!”

The usual battle between my mind and heart. But she was more than happy with me and I with her. 

That’s what our society don’t get. I know our relationship was rogue in the eyes of the world, but that is how we were meant to be. What can I do if she was married, or what if she herself wanted to be with me? 

As they truly say, all is fair in love and war! Experiencing love is the best feeling in the world and I cannot agree more. I decided to follow my heart and be in touch with her. Forever.

Linking to A to Z challenge 2015

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Q- Quench

Quench- for knowledge, quench for power, quench for success, quench to make your own identity, thirst to fulfil your dreams, hunger for love. All these words dominate almost everyone of us and that is what it keeps us going. That’s the daily the food we need to give to our inner soul to make it work and be active.

Sometimes, it does take a toll on people for not doing anything. So even when they’re taking a rest or a break for some time, it doesn't lets one to sit with comfort. A chaos takes place inside which gives birth to restlessness and eventually makes a person paranoid over petty stuff. To an extent its good, to keep yourself involved, be busy, explore new idea. This helps you to discover yourself in this entire process, for they say, for every new thing that you do/learn, you discover a part within you unknown. But if this goes on and on and on, then it disturbs lives of people around. I am not saying working towards your goals is bad, but getting completely drowned, sacrificing your family and friends is also not a very good idea. Success earned at the cost of your personal life is never satisfying. It will finally lead to misery. So yeah, play with your goals, and not with your people!

Doing something for the sake of living is one thing, while doing something to improve your surroundings is another. The quench inside for this should never satiate. That’s the driving force for you to move on.

I’ll keep my post short and simple this time and not bore my readers.. :P

Linking it to A to Z challengeApril 2015

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The Waiting Room

Waiting.. most of us don’t really like to wait, until and unless someone is drowned in love and enjoys waiting for their partner and day dream everything in that duration. I personally, do not like to wait at all and I also take care of the fact, that none should wait coz of me at the same time. If it’s about reaching somewhere on a particular time, be it an appointment with a doctor, or an appointment at a salon, or the timing of my class, or when it comes to boarding of flights, etc, I am there within time. At the extreme, I’ll be late by 5 minutes, but not more than that. And thus, I really end up with a tiff with people, coz of whom I get late. It literally gets on my nerves, if I have to pick up somebody and then they’re not ready. I just hate this fact. Punctuality is in my blood, and I got this from my father.

So once I had to go to this service centre to get my laptop repaired, and obviously, I had to wait for a long time, first, to recite the problem with the thing and then to wait till they give it back. So technically, I was doing nothing. There were no more messages on my phone to check and reply back, no news feed from Facebook to kill my time. And thus, I ended up writing on my phone and express the current situation of my mind then. 

It was that time when I was all by myself. Nobody to disturb, which gave me the liberty to ponder over certain things which have been there on my mind from quite a long time. The New Year had just begun and it was that time of the year when I wasn't working. Obviously, I was frustrated most of the times with my surroundings as well as myself. Negative thoughts had taken a toll on my confidence. The only that I use to do was make an excuse for everything, from situations, problems, solutions, everything. It was then, in that Waiting Room, something struck within me. I had made goals for the year earlier, but wasn't on the track of executing them. It was all going in slow motion, without any anxiety of fulfilling them, being careless rather than carefree, and letting go of things without doing any thinking. So it was kinda wake up call for me then, making me realize how I am letting Time rule over my life and wasting it at the same time. Not utilizing it productively. 
I was lost. From my path. And deep inside, a voice was warning me. And I realized, I can’t let this happen to me. I can’t afford to lose myself. I don’t belong to that category of people who blame ‘others’ or 'circumstances' for their failure and decided to take charge of everything. Whatever was flowing in my mind was written in my phone then and is now here on my blog.

It was that Waiting room, where I got the alone time with myself and found the New me who was hidden inside. It was that moment which though put on a halt that time, but eventually brought everything on track. And it is since then, I have been regular with my goals, my blog, and the commitments that I have towards my own self.

This post is a part of Write OverWeekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by Blogadda.

This post is selected as the WOW post by Blogadda :)

What’s your story? Has it ever happened with you when you discovered yourself again while waiting for something or someone? Would love to hear your experiences.

Happy Reading

Cheers

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P- Poison

Read the first part here

 “M home.. how are you? How was your day?”

“It was just fine. How was yours?”

“Usual”

“Dinner is ready. Go change. We’ll have it together”

After dinner

"Hey baby! Just come close and take me in your arms.."                      

" No.. not now. Please..!! "        

"Why not? It's almost a month now, when you've felt me and I've felt you. We've barely touched each other"         

"Get away.. I don’t feel like doing it. I'm not in the mood right now"           

"What happened? Is anything wrong?”   

“No.. not now.. I really need to sleep, I had a hectic day..”

“But I miss you”

                                            
"Just get away.. I don't wanna do it.. I just don’t feel that attraction to come close"

They both go to bed. All quiet

  Next day

“I know something is going on. That is what you do every time and make an excuse and I buy that every time, but not now.. You have to tell me today. What is it that’s bothering you?”

“Nothing.. do not make assumptions on your own. Please”

“I need to know the reason. Reason for your silence.  You know very well, where I'm going with this. Answer me. Please”

“What?”

“What is it that you can’t let me know? Why do you always keep yourself in a shell? Why don’t you open up with me. We've been married for 7 damn years! And you’re still the same. It’s all the same. I thought with time, everything will be fine, but it’s not. You use to be like this, and I have adapted myself to this setting. You being so quiet, you being so hideous.. I can’t take it. You need to gimme an answer to this”

I know what is it.. I know what you’re going through, but I can’t. I don’t know why? But it just doesn't come to me from inside. I don’t feel like doing anything. I know it’s difficult for you.. but, I really am not able to find a solution to this. You've done every possible thing to make me comfortable with you, but the problem is me! I don’t have the energy for anything. I don’t understand what has gone wrong post marriage, but that’s the way it is! Why don’t you leave me? You’ll get anybody who’ll be worthy of you and your eternal love. M sorry for not having answers to your questions. M sorry for not letting you in. My sorry for not being able to give in to you completely!

“What are you thinking? What is it? Tell me”

“Nothing. You always have to crib about everything. Nothing is wrong with me. Everything is normal. I was just tired last night. That’s it. Why you making an issue of out it?”

“You’re doing this again!”

“M not doing anything. Please get back to your work.”

They both leave. With drops of tears in their eyes. Moving ahead on the way where life is taking them and consuming this poison of loneliness every day, which life is offering them, killing them, slowly!

My post for April A to Z challenge 2015.

Happy Reading

Cheers

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