Bring it out!

So the activity given in the Write Tribe is fun. I chose a colour and tried to observe all the things that I could see while driving home. I chose Red colour and realized so much of the stuff around us is red. 

Thought to pen them down:

 -  For starters, my car is Red in colour

- All the sign boards were red

- Any major hoardings or banners were painted in red. I think that’s a catch colour. That’s why people use it

- Well, it was outside the hospital as well

- There were so many houses with red as their colour and were so pretty. I barely noticed them!

- Kwality walls ice-cream parlour is red in colour and so is Coco-Cola’s hoarding.

I realized a little late and was about to reach home and thus the list is short. But this activity is really good. It happens with so many of us. We only see what we want to see and notice things which are of our interest. I think that is how our brain functions. 

When writing wasn't really my thing, I simply wrote what I had in my heart without giving a second thought. I was in my high school when I was all aloof. No one in the family to hear me, no friends, and the only friend I considered to be with me at all times was the one who had spread rumours about me, said things which totally broke me! That was a bad period. The only urge that I had in me was to open my heart and bring things out. And I always wanted a secret diary. To pen things down. I made one then. I was scared of writing it initially. I wondered what if someone might read it? What if someone makes fun of me? What if people judge me? What if after reading all of it, they still fail to fathom me? Despite all the horrified thoughts, I garnered the courage to write my heart out.

“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.”

One day, while I was in school, I realized my diary was missing. I searched it everywhere. In the class cupboard, in the library, in the field, in the court, every possible place. But it wasn't there. I thought I might have left it at home. After school, all restless, in order to  search it, I changed the entire geography of my house, but couldn't find it.

Next day, when I reached school, there were so many girls (it was only girls school), holding pages of my diary, laughing out loud, making fun of me. I was into tears. I’d written about how bad I felt when my best friend chose a classmate over me, I wrote about how hurt I was when my so called friends wanted to make of fun me in front of everyone, when they left me because I was dark than all of them, I wrote what friendship meant to me, I wrote about how lonely I felt. 

And my classmates, they tagged me a ‘lesbian’! I was shocked! I wasn't able to make out where it was coming from and where it was leading. I was too broken to handle all of it. After a few days, I came to know the reason behind the tag I was given. I had written my feelings for my friends, that’s why everyone bullied me then. It was a bad time then. I know it's absurd! But that's how it was! I thought I made a mistake by writing all of the stuff down! I shouldn't have let my heart go like this and bring out what was in there.

But later that year, I met few of the best people in the world. I made friends again. For a lifetime. And I realized there is nothing to be worried about if I want to write things that I have in me. And I came across this wonderful quote, which boosted me even more!

“Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little”

                                                                                 -Holley Gerth

I think all of us have something which is hidden deep in our hearts. It is writing and only writing that helps us bring it all out and relive us from the burden of keeping it in!

This was my story.. what’s yours? Have you written anything that scared you before? Do leave the link of it.

Day 6 for Write Tribe- Festival ofWords #4

Happy Reading

Cheers