Friday 12 August 2011

Puzzled Again..!!


There is always some kind of curiosity, always a question left in my little head whenever I think of… uuuummm…  ANYTHING I must say… I mean, I know I’m writing something weird from your perspective.. there are so many random thoughts at a time, which are pointless obviously, if one starts pondering over them for even a second. The last nights’ weird dream, the torturing of animals, the fun at vacations, the goodness of closed ones, the tadakta-bhadakta bollywood music, one after the other… Daaaarrrrlinggggg.. aankhon se aankhein chaar karne d,o… Arrey main hun tazaa mutton mutton… Jaa chudail… and on an on an on..!! Sometimes its pestering and annoying as well... but its good in the end... the anxiety for career, the feeling of being a responsible child in your parents eyes… the urge to help anyone and everyone, the feeling of contentment in heart after doing good to others, the hatred towards the conservatism for girls in the society, uuuuhhhh… all of them at the same one by one, on repeat mode..! it sucks big time..! and then the realization hits..! back to present... assignments, projects, cases, work, etc etc, etc… I dun understand when am I gonna come out of this never ending fruitless thought process apart from the fact that I can think crap at my best and get caught in it every time…!!
Apart from all this, there is always an anxiety that keeps me worried every time.. worry of not doing something for myself, worry of not studying, worry of doing something creative, worry of the bad things happening around with our country, worry of my career, and if by any chance there is nothing to worry about, it makes me more worried as to how come am not worrying about anything???!!!!! Strange system I’ve got from God..!

The society in which we breathe is full of people who love to talk about others.. gossip about them but when it comes to their own inside story, they run away from the far flung disease that they have only spread! Strange humans I must say.
There is always a purpose with whoever we meet in life and its true and I am actually realizing it. There are people who teach you the real meaning of life, how to live life to the full, without being reluctant towards your responsibilities, teach you how to feel the difference life makes being with them and without them and I am blessed with such people in my life. There are some who make you learn to face the difficulties, challenges, traumas, with courage and patience. Some teach you a lesson for the lifetime, the value of  trust we put in them is realized when its broken.. how people change who were once everything to now anything in life, learning the lesson of being someone who gives a damn  to anything around and be carefree not careless..!! (such individuals should be kept on the top of the list, for giving such a close picture of life).
Some teach you to love and be loved and grow up as individuals worthy of this world and spread this fragrance of love everywhere, where the first step starts from our homes! The value of friends, their care, and their support does not lie till the boundaries of cards and gifts on birthdays but their actual value and importance is realized in tough times. They don’t share a blood relation, yet they are the ones who come first before the blood relations. (well, I've met all the categories I've mentioned above..!! :D)
I don’t know how God has created this web. Everything is so perfectly related with each other with the perfect permutation and combination of the same. I hope am able to solve this SUDOKU and understand the footsteps it always leaves behind.. in my empty head..!
Will surely come with a definite answer sometime (if I get one :P)..!!
Happy Reading :)
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